Week 4 Preview: The glass is half empty. Twice.

-Chicken soup, comin' up!-

Oh, gentle-hearted ssfa! readers... if only every week could be as big, as epic and so running with the sweet juices of drama as Week 4. This Sunday, Brees and his Saints march on Rex's Jets, both 3-0. Monday, Favre takes on his former Packers while wearing purple. And, brace yourself people, for the only time this fantasy season, Cole and RWPilk will go head-to-head and face each other. Will Cole's calculations come through with a win? Will Pilk's drunken staggering plop him face-first into victory? Let's go to them now for the skinny...
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Cole

Current Standing: 2-1, 6th Overall

I can see it coming a mile away.

I don't know how it's going to happen, but I'm going to get destroyed. Maybe Drew Brees will throw for 400 yards and five touchdowns, the world's biggest sign that, hey, maybe he would've been worth a top-three pick. Maybe T.O. will catch so many touchdowns that he runs out of preening touchdown dances. Or maybe I'll be up a few going into Monday night, and then the Packers' D comes up with a late TAINT (touchdown after interception) off Favre for some storybook revenge and maximum screwing-me-over. I can't tell for certain.

All I know is, if a lifetime of rooting for perennial punching bags has taught me anything, it's that any game you really want to or have to win, Murphy's Law will ensure you won't. Just take it easy on me Tuesday after Pilk humiliates me by 30, that's all I ask.

RWPilk

Current Standing: 1-2, 8th Overall

I gotta be straight with you people, but I'm not optimistic about my face-off with Colebag. Not a lot of factors are counting for me. Pretty much my whole team is coming a downright chilly week, and the forecast for Week 4 isn't rosy.

Item uno: Mister Brees. Following a rigid 4-point performance against the Bills last week, the nawlin's golden boy is facing the Jets, which, I've learned, has the best pass defense right now. When did that happen? Cole points out that the Jets opponents haven't been spectacular, but nevertheless, Brees has been the backbone of my score, and I'll need him to score well if I'm to have a chance at winning.

Item B: Running Backs. I'm screwed. Westbrook is hurt and on a bye. Fine. Hopefully he'll be back with McNabb and the Eagles crew healthy and ready to rock in Week 5. Good, great. In the meantime, I gotta suffer with KC's Larry Johnson (who's been a dud for 3 weeks) and the Giants' Ahmad Bradshaw, who didn't even practice Wednesday and is "questionable" for Week 4. Ugh. Don't get me started on T.O. (WR). I'm hoping he at least touches the ball.

Item 3: The Green Bay D. Is there any chance Favre can get in some freak weeding accident in the next 2 days? Don't get me wrong, they've been solid. And now they're going up against they're former QB/ Wrangler Jeans spokesman. I would guess that there's a good chance the D will be fired up for revenge. But they're IN Minnesota, and the Vikings are coming off a dramatic win. CBS is predicting a definitive FAIL for the Packers D. But with the Seahawks as my alternate, I've got no choice but to go with the big cheese this week. Let's hope Favre develops lactose intolerance.

So, there are some issues. Still, having watched a moderate amount of football the last few years, I'm a big believer in the "Any Given Sunday" rule. Anything can happen. CBS is predicting Cole to win by a significant margin. But they also air three versions of CSI. It helps me sleep at night.