-No pressure, big guy.-Uh... so, yeah. Our authors Cole and RWPilk gotta little tied up yesterday and didn't keep up with any of the live blogging. I mean they were literally tied up. Yeah, Albanian rebels seized their apartment and drank all their beer right in front of them. Good God, the humanity. But they're back now and ready to enjoy some MNF and discuss the epic match up that was this weekend (and perhaps this oh, so illustrious fantasy season as a whole). So get the refresh button ready... 'cause it be on!
Monday Night Football
Giants vs Redskins
8:30pm on ESPN
Current Score: 93
Alright, let's kick this mofo off. Apologies for the abandoned live blog yesterday for those who joined us for awesomeness. But we'll try and bring the awesomeness here tonight, it hasn't expired yet. We smelled it to make sure. Our fantasy teams were busy, however, doing what they do best: scoring points and inspiring heavy drinking. But more on that later.
And that was kick off, Giants with the ball. Fantasy players aside (Ganther and Boss for me tonight) I think I'm rooting for the Giants tonight. They're so scrappy. You just wanna eat'em up! And that's Bradshaw already with a TD. He'll enjoy it on my bench.
Cole
Current Standing: 11-3, 1st Overall
Current Score: 59
ell, you really did it to me this time, Pilki -- ait, the Giants are scrappy? They're from Ne York. No one from Ne York has ever been the "little guy". No ay.
But my life is miserable tonight. My fantasy team embarrassed itself out there all around. Every crappy bust I had all year let me down, but so did every clever pickup I made this eek. No my thumbs are broken, I'm eating soup and toast because I have no money for food, and I broke my "vv" key, so you on't see any of those all night.
Oh good, now it's time for Tom Coughlin and Jim Zorn to star in "The Men ho Stare Blankly at the Field." Aesome.
RWPilk
Cole's had a tough week, the prophetic missing "w" from his keyboard. Yes. No "w" for Cole this week, barring some kind of TE Fred Davis miracle game. Bradshaw is kicking ass tonight. Perhaps RB Ganther was a bad replacement move... Oh man, that's another touchdown for him. Between him and TE Todd Heap, my coaching rating is going straight into the toilet.
Cole
Coach rating. hat a pain in the ass. All that means is you have no options on your bench that are in the vicinity of being orthhile. You ant a useful measure, look at points. For instance, Mark ill be joining you in the finals despite being ... 10th in the league?! hat the hell is that shit? hatever.
Regardless, I don't kno hat I'm going to do next eek no. atch the games normally? Then I'll end up critiquing things like the fact that the Redskins are earing red pants and red jerseys. Yamahama.
RWPilk
It's Giants 17, Redskins nothing with just over 6 minutes left in the 2Q. This a really quick game. So let's get to the nitty gritty: Cole, my man, what the hell happened this week? I was shaking in my boots all week. 11-3! No one close to that record. Now you need TE Davis to score like 40 points to have a prayer against the Moses. Give us the breakdown.
Cole
Oh it's broken. Look, here's the deal: my running backs had orse eeks than your receivers. Like infinitely orse. Chris Johnson scored 13 and Ray Rice had nine, but hen Reggie ayne and Miles Austin both drop 19 on me, it's a big hole to climb back from.
I got eight points from both of my receivers combined, and a nice -1 from Arian Foster, thanks to a fumble on the first drive and subsequent burial on the bench by Gary "Captain Hook" Kubiak. But I'd like to give a big middle-finger to the asshole ho said, "Hopefully u weren't burned by the #Texans backfield. Yes, Foster was a hot pickup, but that didn't make him a must-play!!!" Maybe not, but the fact that everyone and their mother told me to start him, that made him a must-play.
One more thing I've learned here this season: if you have a defense that you picked up off aivers, and they're ranked #1 based solely on their ability to score defensive touchdons, you should trade them for a real defense before they crap the bed against decent offenses. But that's another story for another day.
RWPilk
I've been between 1st and 3rd all season with my receiving. Austin, Marshall, Wayne. Can't complain there (although I'm sure I did a bunch of times). To be honest, I thought I was finished after Saturday night's special presentation of Thursday night football when Brees walked away from the game with 1 TD, 1 pick, 2 fumble, and 11 points. With the New Orleans defeat, I thought Cole had sealed the deal. I didn't really relax until RB McCoy found the end zone Sunday evening. I really thought you had it.
The Redskins just bombed it down the field. Positive yards for these guys. Finally. And a drop in the end zone by Fred Davis. Yikes.
Cole
Until McCoy? You ere up 30 from the end of the Saturday night game on. This as a orse game than the Redskins-Giants debacle e're currently atching. hat is that deal ith that special teams debacle by the Redskins at the end of the half. Oy.
RWPilk
Halftime: Giants 24, Redskins 0. I think Jim Zorn has left. He's bored. Like us. How many competitive games have we live blogged? One? We're a total live blog jinx.
I'd like to give a shout out to the four votes that came in to our poll today voting for me after yesterday's score was posted. I admire your courage. Thomas Jefferson, Susan B. Anthony, residents of the new Iraq... you share their spirit. Shine on.
Cole
Hey, I voted for you like 4 pm yesterday. Until next time, Gadget.
RWPilk
No, no, no, you're not going anywhere yet. Fred Davis just scored a touchdown. That puts you down by only 29! This is what we call a code red, people! Well, maybe not red. A more soothing color. A code lavender!
Cole
Yeah, pause. That's orth a pause. Oh, hello Kevin Boss.
RWPilk
Boss ran down an official. That should be extra points. That puts me at 99 and Cole at 67. Summer of Love, Bryan. Summer of Love.
Cole
Yeah yeah aesome. Meanhile, I spent hours and hours poring over scouting reports, carefully selecting a lineup, and I got outscored by pretty much everyone else in the league. If you're going to lose, you might go out with a bang so people say, "Man! No that guy got CANNED!" Losing on a nebulous tiebreaker ould almost be orse.
RWPilk
Wow... just-- wow. Jason Campbell just lobbed it to an opposing player like they were playing catch out in the ol' back yard. That makes it 38 to 6, Giants. Bryan reports that "Redskins" is a trending topic over at Twitter. It's popular like slowing down to see a bloody accident on the side of the road is popular.
Cole
Redskins punch it in but don't get the to-point conversion. This isn't even a game. This isn't even an approximation of a game. This is like, if you're playing Cranium and you have to dra a picture of "football game" with your eyes closed and your left hand, that's what this game is.
ait, as that Ganther? Oh for...can I go already?
RWPilk
Oh, they're throwing punches! They're fighting! Oh man. This game is awful. Even the players are like f*** it, let's rumble. And, yes, that was RB Ganther in the end zone... making me not look like a complete idiot.
Cole
Fred Davis collects a couple more yards in garbage time and I at least collected 12 points from my tight end. I don't kno hen the last time I got that many points from a tight end, but I did get 16 over my last five eeks. Lovie Smith and Greg Olsen, you too are not on my Christmas card list. You either Matt Forte.
Ah, scre it. One more time!
RWPilk
We've said it before, tight ends are tough. Anything four is an above average score for them. Unless you have Clark or something. Alright the commentators are talking about how tall the Manning brothers are. If they can't make this game interesting, we sure as hell aren't. Any last words, Cole?
Cole
I can't post that Khan video again, can I?
RWPilk
No.
Posts
Bryan - during this holiday season it's No-el - not no "W" - just sayin'
ReplyDelete