Week 11 Recap: Long Shot City, Population: Moses

- Welcome to the party, pa -- oh, whoops, wrong McClane. -

Week 11 leads to a divergence of sorts for our authors! While Cole prepares to fortify his roster for the playoffs, RWPilk scrambles to rally his way back into contention.

Ah hell, did I give it away? Man, I suck at this. Fine, read the wrapup. And oh yeah, the Pats-Saints game will be live-blogged (liveblogged? liveblog'd?) next Monday night right here at SSFA!. And probably other places as well. But ours is way better.

Cole

Current Standing: 9-2, 1st Overall

One of these weeks I've got to get around to writing the recap titles. Be that as it may, I still get a chance to revel in the fact that I now own a four-game lead with three weeks to go, giving me the Apartment Division title and a berth in the playoffs. I'm lord of the manor, master of my domain, king of the county, etc.

It was a hard-fought battle with Jim to clinch, though; I had a one-point lead going into the Monday night game as Chris Johnson (on my squad) battled Andre Johnson (on Jim's). Years of pent-up sports-based superstition came out in full force, and I stopped moving somewhere after halftime to prevent some sort of negative feng shui from conspiring against Chris Johnson's yardage total (and don't think I've forgotten your transgression, LenDale White). By the end of the fourth quarter, I was rooting for Kris Brown's field goal attempt to sail wide (which it did), just so I could collapse in a peaceful, victorious exhaustion.

Now that's a high-quality game.

Things could have been a lot easier for me, I admit: I guessed wrong with my receivers for the 27th time, sitting Jerricho Cotchery (80+ yds, 1 TD) for Steve Breaston (no receptions). And Jason Snelling's moment in the sun (20 fantasy points) was wasted on my bench behind Khan (7 points). But these things happen.

Besides, I still want to talk about the touchdown vultures. Aside from White's two carries for two yards and six points, there's also the case of LeRon McClain in Baltimore, the Island-of-Misfit-Toys version. Sunday against Indianapolis, when the Ravens had first and goal at the one, the Ravens ran the ball three times: twice to McClain, and once to Joe Flacco, all for naught. Baltimore, of course, lost by two. Now, I'm not going to sit here and say that, in a goal-line situation, you should give your ball to your star running back three times and not some dude you're pulling out of the first row. No, wait a minute, yes I am going to say that. John Harbaugh gets my Lovie Smith Memorial "Why Do You Hate Me?" Award of the week for meritorious achievements in the field of playcalling designed to screw me over.

But I won't complain too much. Now I can just sit back and watch the rest of the season. Saints-Pats? All right.

RWPilk

Current Standing: 5-6, 8th overall

Sigh. You see this? This is me hitting the giant, category-5, blinking red button marked "start panicking".

I lost this week. Rather than go through and blame the people responsible (WR Miles Austin, RB Ahmed Bradshaw, God, K Neil Rackers), let's just go to straight to what needs to be done if I'm to have ANY shot of the playoffs. And, no, it ain't pretty.

1. I need win ALL my remaining three games. Oh, yes. Victories. Cut and dry. Even more important, is that, in our league, the last three games are all against our own divisions. That means my victories in these games can shoot me up the division standings. Hello, playoffs! Goodbye... bitterly weeping myself to sleep.

2. I need to score A LOT of points. I've only had a few triple digit games, and now I need a lot more. See, getting first in my division is highly unlikely, but getting out Wild Card spot is a little more manageable if I'm in second. I just need the highest point total of the other 2nd placers. So rack'em up.

And there it is. Is is possible? Yes. Likely? No. But we're gonna try. We're gonna try like Hell. Onward, Sweet Fancy Moses. Onward.

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Week 7 Recap: Tables Turning?

-Yeah, you! Let's get with the freakin' program, shall we?-

It only took half of the fantasy football season, but finally our two authors are locked in mortal combat with close records. Cole has thus far had the lion's share of wins, but after RWPilk's narrow victory this week, only one "w" separates them! How could this be? And why would anyone abbreviate a one syllable word with a three syllable initial? Before a sissy slapping session breaks out, let's go to them now for the gory, gory details!

Cole

Current Standing: 5-2, 4th Overall

Let's take a mystery player now. Said mystery player accumulated 34 rushing yards with a touchdown, and 115 receiving yards with a touchdown. That's a pretty good week, right? You'd pick up that receiver; he's clearly an integral part of his team's offense.

Well, rush to your waiver wires and see if JerReggieMatt Olson-BreastBowe is available. Because that was the output of SIX players for me this week. Six.

Needless to say, I lost, despite my opponent having a week so bad he's contemplating honor suicide. Fortunately for you, dear reader(s), I have no honor, so I will continue blogging.

But I'm not all brickbats and profanities this week. As it turns out, every other team in my division lost as well, so I still have a three-game league with seven weeks until the playoffs. And Chris Johnson and Ray Rice will be coming off byes, as is runner-up bust of the year Calvin Johnson. Between these three guys, I should be able to put up enough offense to at least have a respectable game against the league leader...right?

RWPilk

Current Standing: 4-3, 7th overall

Dear WR Miles Austin,

I know you won't be this good every week. But welcome aboard anyway and thanks for not making me look like a complete idiot. Somewhere in the distance, I can hear your predecessor, T.O., scoring less than 5 points.

Sincerely,
RWPilk

Phew. I won by a single point this week. And while I'm happy to now have a competitive, winning record against Cole, I'd be lying if my future looked bright. Last night in MNF, BOTH TE Cooley and Westbrook (surprise!) were hurt, as was WR Reggie Wayne. And I'm still in 7th overall; my division is tough. I'll also be on the waiver wire for some small potatoes players and forced to keep RBs Bradshaw and Johnson in (5 point total this week). Good God. If I wasn't hanging on for dear life to the few decent players I do have, I'd consider a trade. Instead, you may just find me in a Sunday afternoon fetal position in front of the TV, praying.

And I never pray.

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Week 7 Preview: Sweet Home Chicago

- Is it live, or is it that huge-ass Jumbotron? -

And we hit the halfway mark. Week 7. And as the season marches on and Cole and RWPilk's records grow more competitive, whose fantasy sports theory will prove supreme?! -thunder crashes- Eh, we won't know for a while, but we like to say things and scary voices. Let's go to these two knuckleheads now for the rundown.

Cole

Current Standing: 5-1, 1st Overall

I don't even want to talk about this upcoming week. After three solid games in a row, I'm being decimated by bye weeks. Chris Johnson and Ray Rice take a breather, and my running back options are now Matt "Khan" Forte, Reggie Bush, and Jamal Lewis. I will now slam my head in the oven door repeatedly. With the gas on. I blame this on the fact that I constantly bragged about how deep I was at running back earlier in the season.

Seven weeks out, my first few picks were a debacle. There's Khan, of course, my first rounder, who has less points than any first round pick ... except Darren McFadden. Chris Johnson was a solid second-rounder, but I followed him with Calvin Johnson, one pick before Reggie Wayne and two before Marques Colston. Granted, both players were on my team last year and tortured me constantly, but missing Wayne was a huge mistake. And then, in round five, needing a quarterback, I decided that Donovan McNabb would be a safer pick than Matt Schaub. Let's ignore the fact that Ben Roethlisberger, with twice the points of McNabb, was still on the board, and I flat-out dismissed him. No, let's talk about which quarterback has the most fantasy points through six weeks. Hint: he plays in Texas, and not in a Cowboys uniform.

I'm ashamed to admit it but I'm a terrible drafter. It's impossible to make accurate predictions of the future in any field. Look at the quotes of Bill Gates scoffing at the Internet or Dr. Seuss' boatloads of rejection letters. But let's not get all philosophical here. Let's talk football.

In 2006, the top three consensus picks were Reggie Bush, Vince Young, and Matt Leinart. When New Orleans "earned" the second pick, the debate in the Crescent City revolved around which quarterback would replace Aaron Brooks. When the Houston Texans introduced the world to Mario Williams, they were universally excoriated for the pick. How could they pass up the playmaking capability of Reggie Bush? How could they ignore the hometown hero, Vince Young?

Flash forward three years, with the caveat that all four players still have a lot of time to cement their legacy and so forth. Bush (who, it turns out, practically took a pay cut to join the NFL) is the third-down back, behind two undrafted free agents. And Young suffered a near-breakdown last year, leaving his coach so underwhelmed that he rides the bench for an 0-6 game. Even when down 52 points. Don't forget Matt Leinart, who's started a grand sum total of 16 games in three plus years, currently holding a clipboard behind a 40-year-old full of question marks. And Williams? He's only coming off his first Pro Bowl appearance and second straight season with 12 or more sacks. So don't laugh too hard at Darius Heyward-Bey, because you never know.

Okay, yeah, I guess sometimes you do. Ha ha.

RWPilk

Current Standing: 3-3, tied for 7th overall

Another week of cautious optimism. Drew Brees and my Packers DST seem to be back into the swing of things. RB Brian “M*A*S*H Unit” Westbrook is still healthy and producing. RB Bradshaw is exceeding recent expectations. RB Larry Johnson had a half-way decent Week 6. Colts WR Reggie Wayne is back from his bye. And Neil Rackers is... still my kicker.

My dark horse this week is recent T.O. trade acquisition WR Miles Austin from Dallas. (That's funny, I once knew an Orlando from Miami). All eyes are on you, new guy. I'm a little concerned I have to rely on Tony Romo a little. Every time I glance at a Dallas game this guy looks like a deer in headlights. Or maybe it's just that big honkin' screen. Either way, get with the program, T-Bone.

I want more than a win this week though. I want Cole to lose. Bad. Look at'im. Scroll up and take a look at this smug 5-1 bastard. Somebody take him down. Somebody. Isn't McNabb due for another injury or something. C'mon.

Ah, I love the smell of HTML in the morning.

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