Week 11 Recap: Long Shot City, Population: Moses

- Welcome to the party, pa -- oh, whoops, wrong McClane. -

Week 11 leads to a divergence of sorts for our authors! While Cole prepares to fortify his roster for the playoffs, RWPilk scrambles to rally his way back into contention.

Ah hell, did I give it away? Man, I suck at this. Fine, read the wrapup. And oh yeah, the Pats-Saints game will be live-blogged (liveblogged? liveblog'd?) next Monday night right here at SSFA!. And probably other places as well. But ours is way better.

Cole

Current Standing: 9-2, 1st Overall

One of these weeks I've got to get around to writing the recap titles. Be that as it may, I still get a chance to revel in the fact that I now own a four-game lead with three weeks to go, giving me the Apartment Division title and a berth in the playoffs. I'm lord of the manor, master of my domain, king of the county, etc.

It was a hard-fought battle with Jim to clinch, though; I had a one-point lead going into the Monday night game as Chris Johnson (on my squad) battled Andre Johnson (on Jim's). Years of pent-up sports-based superstition came out in full force, and I stopped moving somewhere after halftime to prevent some sort of negative feng shui from conspiring against Chris Johnson's yardage total (and don't think I've forgotten your transgression, LenDale White). By the end of the fourth quarter, I was rooting for Kris Brown's field goal attempt to sail wide (which it did), just so I could collapse in a peaceful, victorious exhaustion.

Now that's a high-quality game.

Things could have been a lot easier for me, I admit: I guessed wrong with my receivers for the 27th time, sitting Jerricho Cotchery (80+ yds, 1 TD) for Steve Breaston (no receptions). And Jason Snelling's moment in the sun (20 fantasy points) was wasted on my bench behind Khan (7 points). But these things happen.

Besides, I still want to talk about the touchdown vultures. Aside from White's two carries for two yards and six points, there's also the case of LeRon McClain in Baltimore, the Island-of-Misfit-Toys version. Sunday against Indianapolis, when the Ravens had first and goal at the one, the Ravens ran the ball three times: twice to McClain, and once to Joe Flacco, all for naught. Baltimore, of course, lost by two. Now, I'm not going to sit here and say that, in a goal-line situation, you should give your ball to your star running back three times and not some dude you're pulling out of the first row. No, wait a minute, yes I am going to say that. John Harbaugh gets my Lovie Smith Memorial "Why Do You Hate Me?" Award of the week for meritorious achievements in the field of playcalling designed to screw me over.

But I won't complain too much. Now I can just sit back and watch the rest of the season. Saints-Pats? All right.

RWPilk

Current Standing: 5-6, 8th overall

Sigh. You see this? This is me hitting the giant, category-5, blinking red button marked "start panicking".

I lost this week. Rather than go through and blame the people responsible (WR Miles Austin, RB Ahmed Bradshaw, God, K Neil Rackers), let's just go to straight to what needs to be done if I'm to have ANY shot of the playoffs. And, no, it ain't pretty.

1. I need win ALL my remaining three games. Oh, yes. Victories. Cut and dry. Even more important, is that, in our league, the last three games are all against our own divisions. That means my victories in these games can shoot me up the division standings. Hello, playoffs! Goodbye... bitterly weeping myself to sleep.

2. I need to score A LOT of points. I've only had a few triple digit games, and now I need a lot more. See, getting first in my division is highly unlikely, but getting out Wild Card spot is a little more manageable if I'm in second. I just need the highest point total of the other 2nd placers. So rack'em up.

And there it is. Is is possible? Yes. Likely? No. But we're gonna try. We're gonna try like Hell. Onward, Sweet Fancy Moses. Onward.

Read more...

Week 8 Recap: It Still Stings

-Sweet, Sweet Flacco/Heap Action? Not likely, sucker.-

Just as the winds appeared to shift in Week 7 towards an RWPilk comeback, they're already shifting back in the opposite direction with a definitive Cole victory. Damn you, finicky winds! With your flippin' and your floppin'! Anyway, let's go to the authors now to see just what in the hell happened this week. Parental guidance suggested.

Cole

Current Standing: 6-2, tied for 1st Overall

Since I'm delusional to write this thing, let's go all-out delusional here. Let's attribute my team's bullish performance to Gi's trash-talking marathon Friday. Let's say her post provided fake bulletin board material, giving my team the edge it needed to record its second-highest point total to date en route to an 18-point victory.

Sure. Or, we could give the metaphorical game ball to my ever-faithful stable of running backs. To Ray Rice! May you continue to put up points despite a grueling schedule. To Chris Johnson! May you always display getting-away-from-the-cops speed. And to Matt Forte! May you play the Browns every week.

And let's not forget the Saints' DST, with a stellar 17 points this week and their sixth defensive touchdown. Where would I be without my favorite waiver-wire pickup? Probably not 6-2, I can tell you that much. It's worth pointing out that they have more touchdowns off interceptions than the Browns, Lions, and Raiders have passing touchdowns. (Source) Oh, hello, Calvin Johnson. Yeah, I'll deal with you later.

The only sour note was my acquisition and subsequent starting of David Garrard over Donovan McNabb. The Jaguars were supposed to have an easy matchup against the Titans, the Eagles were supposed to have a tough matchup against the Giants, yadda yadda yadda, I left 23 points on the bench.

So I still have a three-game lead, now with six games to play, meaning the unfortunate-but-still-comical epic collapse should be juuust around the corner. Next up is Queen of the Castle, fresh off a tight victory over Pilk. Fun fact: Queen of the Castle's entire bench was devoted to bye-week players last week. Weird.

RWPilk

Current Standing: 4-4, 7th overall

There seems to be a pattern going on in our league. There's always one miserable match where both teams do pretty terrible, and one just happens to win by being a little less terrible that week. Last week, Cole was in that game and lost. This week was my turn, and, oh, what a turn it was. This one really hurts people. This one was my bad.

After a waiver wire buffet last week, I also executed my first trade with Cole. He wanted QB Garrard (that he immediately put in for McNabb, say whaaa?!) and he offered me RB "I'm built of Legos" Westbrook's back up, McCoy. To be honest, I totally forgot about the trade and when I was alerted it was approved Sunday morning, I blew it off. I just had fixed my RB situation via said waiver wire... What's McCoy gonna do?

My waiver wire restructuring was a total bust. TE Todd Heap, some mook I'm now stuck with the rest of the year, scored one point. And, by golly, RB Darren Sproles, the guy I picked up before trading with Cole matched that score. McCoy, on my bench? Fifteen points. My loss deficit this week: 6 points.

Of course, it's easy to look at my trade gaff as the smoking gun here, but honestly, the rest of my time wasn't helping. Packers DST got destroyed, Brandon Marshall was off playing solitaire somewhere, and even Neil Rackers scored under 5 points. Ho-leeeee Christmas, you know it's a bad week when after the dust clears, even your kicker has a blue note.

I'm off to cry into some beers now.

Read more...

Week 1 Recap: And Off We Go!

-Step 1: Hold on to the ball. Step 2: Don't ruin everything.-

And what a week it was, folks. Cracked ribs! Throwback jerseys! Comically desperate, final-second laterals! The Lions! Oh, the memories. The SSFA! duel of fantasy sports theory is finally on as Cole and RWPilk make their first etchings into their records. Let's inflate their sense of purpose and go to them now for some thoughts on Week 1! ... And don't forget to check out our teams and cast a vote in our DRAFT POLL, immediately to your right!

Cole

Current Standing: 1-0, 6th Overall

Look up "disappointment" in the dictionary. Go ahead, I'll wait.

::whistles::

Back yet? Did you happen to see my fantasy roster listed as an example? No? Because you didn't really look, I'm sure, but trust me, it's in there.

How disappointed can I be after week one? Oh, plenty. My powerhouse running back tandem of Matt Forte and Chris Johnson, known the fantasy world over as top-ten talent, posted a combined 10 points. Greg Olsen, a top-five TE in some publications, earned me as many points as Alex Smith, who came as close to seeing the field as I did. Kris Brown -- I mean, I don't know what the hell I was thinking there, but Houston getting just seven points? Come on. And the Dolphins' DST (admittedly a reach on the best of days) was bad enough that I'm seriously looking at acquiring the Saints' defense. I will now wash my eyes out with hydrochloric acid.

Oh, and I almost forgot about McNabb. Hey, terrific. Thanks for the 21 points and the memories; at least you're already light years ahead of the QB I drafted last year: Matt Hasselback. Friggin' awesome.

Just once I'd like to have a good draft chased by some solid weeks and not have to go scrambling to the waiver wire every damn Tuesday morning. You know the scenes in Edward Scissorhands where Johnny Depp's cutting things? Just a whirlwind of activity and a blur of leaves/hair/fur/ice? That's what my fantasy roster's going to look like over the coming weeks.

I love this game.

RWPilk

Current Standing: 1-0, Tied for 2nd Overall

Ahhh. Let's start off with some prerequisite smack talking: Even though he was able to squeak by with a win, Mr. "No one knows how to draft but me" Cole landed the third lowest score in the league in Week 1. Hear that squeaking noise? That's one point for my fantasy sports theory going up on the dry erase board. Count it. But don't feel bad, once Cole gets a win he'll shoot it right back at me. How long does it take for cracked ribs to heal?

What is there to say about my team's performance? You sports people were right about Drew Brees: he scored just less than 50 pts this week. Still, all the saintly pictures of him floating around are a little much aren't they? C'mon. He played the Lions. Unless the rest of the Saints' schedule is filled with Girl Scout Troops and collections of small mice, I think we can calm down a little. Still, I'm excited about him.

I was hoping for a better performance from the Green Bay defense, given all the hype, but they put up decent numbers nonetheless. Westbrook was great, but as predicted by CBS analytics, RB Larry Johnson was shut down and T.O. gained a measly 4 pts despite his endorsement from VH1. Still it's hard to get mad at T.O. when it was Leodis McKelvin who fumbled for Buffalo and let the Pats win. C'mon! You let them off the hook! They were who you thought they were! Despite those cream colored helmets.

Read more...

Post-Draft Hangover

-What do you mean I'm in the wrong building!?-

And so the mighty draft came to pass... and it was good? We won't really know until we start putting some numbers on the board, but as the disciples of sports fandom and people who watch Lost know, it's fun to speculate! Will Brandon Marshall get his ducks in a row in time for RWPilk to benefit? What will Cole do if Michael Vick gobbles up some of McNabb's QB pie? Are there polar bears involved? We go live to the draft machines themselves for some answers... And be sure to visit our poll on our right hand side bar and let us know what you think.

Cole
Draft Pick Position: 3rd
First Round Pick: Matt Forte (RB)

I think a lot of people feel like they improved their drafts over last week's, which is good, but clearly everyone can't have improved. Either way, no one is more excited than I am that we got to redo that draft from last week, because this might be the best draft I've ever had.

Look at it! Look at that sweet, sweet RB action. One of the top four players overall in Forte, another first-round talent in Chris Johnson (and his handcuff/touchdown vulture, LenDale White), Ray Rice in the seventh round, Felix Jones in the eighth, Reggie Bush in the ninth?! Come on. And then there's my receivers: Calvin Johnson is a top five receiver and I snagged him in the third round. Dwayne Bowe is a top 10 receiver in some publications and I got him in the fourth. What's that? Cassel's hurt and Bowe's production might suffer? Oh, well then let me throw in mid-round talent Jerricho Cotchery, whom I got in the 11th round, or 14th-round "flyer" Nate Washington. And my tight end? Greg Olson, who lasted until the 10th round, the 11th TE picked in the league. Everyone I read has him as a top-five talent at the position.

And yeah, McNabb is an injury risk, but so is everyone in fantasy football. And for once, McNabb has the weapons to be truly dangerous (assuming he stays upright). With young guns like DeSean Jackson, LeSean McCoy, and Jeremy Maclin, Andy Reid finally has more options than "Brian Westbrook and pray".

Usually, in a 12-team draft, you'd expect to get around eight or nine of the top 100 players. I picked up 11 according to CBS Sportsline, and three of their top 15.

RWPilk
Draft Pick Position: 4th
First Round Pick: Drew Brees (QB)

The draft is finished and I'm glad. I was beginning to forget why we started this site to begin with. As you all know, we had a bit of misfire last week with out draft when the draft got voided. I was pleased with that draft. I'm as pleased with this one. I had my eye on Housh and Favre (for a back-up QB this time, he's a nice middle finger to all the football fans in my league) but didn't get them. Still, Brees was high on the list of must haves according to our draft listings, so I snatched him up. I also got T.O. and Brandon Marshall, two bad boy rebels with a problem with authority, but possessing raw talent. So, I rolled the dice. I hope they get their stuff together for some hard-playing, and drive me into some victories wearing their leather jackets on their Harley-Davidson motorcycles.

What do I think of the competition? Well, to prove myself right, I ONLY have to beat Cole. And what do I see? A list of nobodies. How many of your players have reality shows, Colebag? How many are suspended? How many defenses of yours have soft schedules? How many? That's right. Bagel. Cole's first pick is some guy named Forte. I went to elementary school with a guy named Forte. He was twice our size and we threw erasers at him. I'm about as intimidated. Bring it.

Read more...