Twittergate '09

-Don't worry little guy, we're in this together.-

RWPilk

09/17/09, Sweet Sweet Journalistic Inaccuracy Action!: Ah, so it appears that after a quick search of Ochocinco Twitter accounts, and not yielding a "verified account" page, I picked the wrong one. There is now (or could have always been) a verified #85 Twitter page, and it wasn't the one I cited, which explains the mix up. So, while amusing, the below article is bologna. Not saying I was wrong or anything, or lazy, or rushed. No. Didn't happen. but, you know. Bologna.

I don't like sports too much, but since acquiring SSFA! I've had to read a lot of about them. Boring. I have, however, become a fan of certain athletes' Twitter accounts. Cut to Chad Ochocinco, the Bengals WR with the name goofier than most Bond villains. He's a infamous tweeter apparently, and left many followers wondering what would happen now that the NFL is cracking down on players using social media. You know, because if a player out there wants to know "who's playin dat madden?", well that's gonna ruffle a few feathers.

Anyway, Ochocinco was bold enough at a press conference to apologize to the NFL in advance, claiming that he WOULD be tweeting before, during, and after games. Say whaaa?! Apparently, Ochocinco had read the NFL social media policy and "found loopholes." Whoa, take it NFL! Loopholes. Eat it. Can we get John Grisham in here to document this unfolding "lone man against the system" drama? Settle down, spaz, it gets weirder.

The usually reliable PFT over at MSNBC reported today that Ochocinco had broken his tweeting silence with the message "Storm coming!" Yeah, alright whatever. But when I checked Ochocinco's Twitter page, that tweet was nowhere to be found, but this was:

"im not going to quit tweetin,but i wont tweet during games ight peeps,the leagues getting on me"

No! Don't give up, Chad! This high drama of intrigue and suspense has barely even started! You still have to break into the NFL super computer mainframe hub, all Tom Cruise/Mission Impossible 1, ropes and pulley-like and tweet from there! That'll show'em! You can't give in! Not yet!

Sigh. Anyway, NFL season commences tonight. My sanity may audibly sigh in relief.

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Also Receiving Votes (Other Stories We Missed)

-All right, good job, but I'm not gonna call you 'Esteban'.-

Cole

Six things to keep you occupied while waiting for the live blog to start tomorrow:

The Arizona Republic reports that the idea for "Shaq Vs." was stolen from teammate Steve Nash. Who knew the Big Aristotle was capable of such ... Shaqstabbing?

The Red Sox are getting an integral part of their team back tonight. In the immortal words of Hall of Famer Dennis Eckersley, "Thank God."
As @MikeCostelloe put it: "Plaxico Burress gets a new deal! 2 yrs, $0.0 mil, nothing up front but, depending on the showers, plenty in back, with a 2-yr club option."

Jemele Hill -- remember her? She of the "Celtics = Hitler" comparison? -- is back in the news again for suggesting Packer fans give B**** F**** the "Duracell treatment". Nice going there; not like F**** wasn't going to be in full body armor for that game anyway. (And no, before you complain, I did NOT suggest something analogous last week. I specifically said I WASN'T suggesting throwing aluminum beer bottles at Johnny Damon from the Monster Seats.)

Let the record show that Tulane men's basketball team beat Memphis in 2008. Twice. Hey, you root for the Green Wave long enough, you take what you can get. (Can I just say, by the way, that voiding wins is the least effective punishment ever? Hit offenders where they'll actually feel it: their wallets.)

Chad Ochocinco decided to inject some life into the always moribund preseason by kicking an extra point and the ensuing kickoff in last night's game against the Patriots, thereby saving everyone from having to listen to hours upon hours of how well Tom Brady responded to getting hit. And since the final score was 7-6, you could say Ochocinco kicked the game-winning extra point. You won't, because it's the preseason and no one cares, but you could.

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