Also Receiving Votes (Other Stories We Missed)

-All right, good job, but I'm not gonna call you 'Esteban'.-

Cole

Six things to keep you occupied while waiting for the live blog to start tomorrow:

The Arizona Republic reports that the idea for "Shaq Vs." was stolen from teammate Steve Nash. Who knew the Big Aristotle was capable of such ... Shaqstabbing?

The Red Sox are getting an integral part of their team back tonight. In the immortal words of Hall of Famer Dennis Eckersley, "Thank God."
As @MikeCostelloe put it: "Plaxico Burress gets a new deal! 2 yrs, $0.0 mil, nothing up front but, depending on the showers, plenty in back, with a 2-yr club option."

Jemele Hill -- remember her? She of the "Celtics = Hitler" comparison? -- is back in the news again for suggesting Packer fans give B**** F**** the "Duracell treatment". Nice going there; not like F**** wasn't going to be in full body armor for that game anyway. (And no, before you complain, I did NOT suggest something analogous last week. I specifically said I WASN'T suggesting throwing aluminum beer bottles at Johnny Damon from the Monster Seats.)

Let the record show that Tulane men's basketball team beat Memphis in 2008. Twice. Hey, you root for the Green Wave long enough, you take what you can get. (Can I just say, by the way, that voiding wins is the least effective punishment ever? Hit offenders where they'll actually feel it: their wallets.)

Chad Ochocinco decided to inject some life into the always moribund preseason by kicking an extra point and the ensuing kickoff in last night's game against the Patriots, thereby saving everyone from having to listen to hours upon hours of how well Tom Brady responded to getting hit. And since the final score was 7-6, you could say Ochocinco kicked the game-winning extra point. You won't, because it's the preseason and no one cares, but you could.

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Shaqpot!

- #bromance -

RWPilk

So slow was the sports news day yesterday that I found myself trying squeeze a single drop of amusement from a Mexico defeats America soccer headline. But before I slipped into an infinite coma, I was saved by the "big black unit": You guessed it, SHAQ. Apparently, Shazam Shaquille was with Cardinal Albert Pujols to promote some reality show and referred to himself as "Shaqqie Robinson," sending the press giggling like a school girl being tackled by a dozen kittens.

I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy; perhaps I wasn't getting enough Shaqness in my life (now that it isn't 1998 anymore). But I suddenly remembered Twitter, and to my excellent fortune found THE_REAL_SHAQ. See for yourself, as I'm still trying to somehow quantify the ocean of priceless Shaqitude I've stumbled upon:

Attention all scrabble players, question, is pigsriot a word

Holy shit, I'm at the santa monica airport I just saw a lil plane crash, and the guy walk away, dam dam glad he's ok shit, excuse my words

Happy birthday , harry potter main charachter dude

Anybody seen that 7 year old kid driving, running from the cops

The white house wouldn't let me in, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Whoever told Shaq that Twitter is a magic telephone in which he can get instant responses to any idle curiousity that he asks at any given time... Let me buy you a drink. As you can clearly see, I no longer have any need for television, the cinema, radio, or any form of print media entertainment. I have THE_REAL_SHAQ. And it's more than enough. Tweet on, Shaqinator. Tweet on.

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