Thursday, August 13, 2009


- #bromance -


So slow was the sports news day yesterday that I found myself trying squeeze a single drop of amusement from a Mexico defeats America soccer headline. But before I slipped into an infinite coma, I was saved by the "big black unit": You guessed it, SHAQ. Apparently, Shazam Shaquille was with Cardinal Albert Pujols to promote some reality show and referred to himself as "Shaqqie Robinson," sending the press giggling like a school girl being tackled by a dozen kittens.

I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy; perhaps I wasn't getting enough Shaqness in my life (now that it isn't 1998 anymore). But I suddenly remembered Twitter, and to my excellent fortune found THE_REAL_SHAQ. See for yourself, as I'm still trying to somehow quantify the ocean of priceless Shaqitude I've stumbled upon:

Attention all scrabble players, question, is pigsriot a word

Holy shit, I'm at the santa monica airport I just saw a lil plane crash, and the guy walk away, dam dam glad he's ok shit, excuse my words

Happy birthday , harry potter main charachter dude

Anybody seen that 7 year old kid driving, running from the cops

The white house wouldn't let me in, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Whoever told Shaq that Twitter is a magic telephone in which he can get instant responses to any idle curiousity that he asks at any given time... Let me buy you a drink. As you can clearly see, I no longer have any need for television, the cinema, radio, or any form of print media entertainment. I have THE_REAL_SHAQ. And it's more than enough. Tweet on, Shaqinator. Tweet on.

1 comment:

  1. I'm about to break out my Kazaam. 4 NBA Championships, 3 NBA Finals MVP awards and an Olympic Gold Medal are great, but nothing beats those genie pants.