There's only one George Lopez

- "Who wants ice cream after the game??" -

Cole
Current Standing: 5-2, 3rd Overall

Before we embark on the crapfest that's going to be my World Series prediction, I'm going to toot my own horn here (pause) and point out that I really did a good job in the AL playoff post. Only one game off for all three series! Just goes to show, every once in a while I know what I'm talking about.

But now I have to talk about the National League, and I have no desire to and no knowledge. I know, it's never stopped me before. But maybe I'm just bitter that the Yankees outbid the Red Sox in the eBay auction that is the offseason, winding up with the coveted item that is the American League pennant, bolstered by the free shipping that is the AL's All-Star Game-based home field advantage, not to mention the positive feedback of multiple individual awards.

(I can see the headline now: LOCAL ANALOGY TORTURED, MUTILATED BEFORE DEATH.)

All right, fine. In the interest of completeness, here's what I expect over the next seven games (if necessary).

• Someone will make a huge deal out of the fact the Phillies took two of three from the Yankees in May. Someone will be very, very wrong.
  
• Tim McCarver will make an ass of himself, and sabermetric-minded baseball fans will shed a single tear as they realize Fire Joe Morgan is down.
  
• Yankee fans will endlessly chant, "Who's Your Daddy?", when Pedro Martinez takes the mound for Game 2. No one will think to dress as Don Zimmer.
  
• Alex Rodriguez will be beloved by Yankee fans throughout the series for his play thus far in the playoffs, but will be back to the familiar scapegoat role if they lose, and probably hated again by March anyway. Nothing he does on the field will affect this.
  
• The Phillies will get screwed over by the whole "not-having-a-real-DH" thing at least once. Media types everywhere will work themselves into a frenzy, demanding changes in the offseason. There will be none.
  
• At least one game will be decided by a blown call. Media types everywhere will work themselves into a frenzy, demanding more instant replay in the offseason. There will be none.
  
• Said call will favor the Yankees. It just will. Accept it. The sun will rise in the east, the tide will ebb and flow, Palestinians and Israelis will hate each other, TBS will endlessly rerun the same terrible commercials for their crappy shows, Joe Buck will engender hatred, and the Yankees will get the breaks in the postseason. It's how the world works.
  
• An exorbitant number of home runs will be hit in Yankee Stadium. (Luis Castillo will be in position to catch one, and drop it.) At least one game will feature more than 20 runs.
  
• The Yankees will win 4-1, much to the disappointment of everyone outside the Tri-State area, especially those who wanted a competitive series. Meanwhile, some fourth-grader in Ossining will hand in an essay entitled, "Now I Can Die in Peace".

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The Hunt for Red Soxtober

-Celebrating the right to get swept by the Yankees-

Cole

Current Standing: 3-1, 1st Overall

No self-professed sports blog would be complete without discussing the MLB playoffs, at the very least to discuss how boring baseball is. But, as you've probably guessed by now, I'm a big baseball fan. So as the Sox take on the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Who Previously Used the Geographic Moniker "California", I'll be wearing my lucky stirrups and hoping the hometown laundry team doesn't disappoint.

Because I am a pessimist by nature ("not cuz I hate ya"), I'm sick of all these uplifting previews talking about what a treat Nick F***ing Punto is to watch (even if it is sarcastic). Instead, I'm going to run through the AL playoff participants and talk about the biggest question marks they face over the next few weeks, in inverse order of record.

Minnesota (AL Central, 87-76): Fatigue - While everyone else in the AL hasn't had to play a meaningful game since Labor Day, the Twins had to scrap and claw their way back just to force the one-game playoff with the Tigers. On Sept. 6, Minnesota was seven games off the AL Central lead. Adding insult to injury, Detroit took 12 innings to concede the division in the tiebreaker Tuesday night, as eight pitchers took the Metrodome mound for the home team. Now the Twins have to face a rested Yankees team that won all seven of the teams' contests by a combined score of 41-25.

Boston (AL Wild Card, 95-67): Inconsistency - Somewhere, the ghosts of Fire Joe Morgan cringed. Perhaps "inconsistency" really isn't the right word, as the Red Sox consistently beat up on crappy teams (i.e. a 16-2 record against Baltimore), and consistently disappointed against quality opponents (i.e. losing season series to the Rangers, Angels, and Mariners, and splitting with the Rays and Yankees). The high hopes the team carried into the season -- seemingly justified with their 47-30 record after three months -- were dashed with a disappointing July against a soft schedule and a slow fade into second place. It's hard for a 95-win team making its sixth playoff appearance in the past seven years to be labeled "disappointing," but people outside New England predicted 100 wins for the Sox with a straight face. Boston's high-priced stars will need to show signs of life like they did in the spring, or winter will arrive a lot sooner than expected for Fenway.

Los Angeles (AL West, 97-65): Pitching - Don't talk about the fact that the Red Sox have won 12 of their last 13 against the Angels, dating back to Dave Henderson's homer in 1986. Boston is playing this year's squad, not those other ones, and this year's model has the offensive firepower to keep up. Mike Scioscia's clubs have always been among the league leaders in stolen bases, and this year the team is near the top in OPS as well, right up there with Boston and New York. Where the team hovers around league average, however, is pitching. Choose any stat you want -- ERA, strikeouts, WHIP, whatever -- and LA is right smack dab in the middle of the pack. Can Weaver, Saunders, and Lackey shut down the Boston bats? Is the back of the pen solid? If these questions can't be answered, the Angels better pack their lumber if they want to advance.

New York (AL East, 103-59): Expectations - This one was tough, as (hard as it is to admit) the Yankees are far and away the class of the American League. Tops in hitting, tops in pitching, even defensively by some measures, the Yankees will be tough to beat. Unless...

Well, CC Sabathia has imploded in the last few playoff series. And A-Rod is famously batting .143 in his last 16 playoff games. And Mark Teixiera struggled under the bright lights when he first arrived in New York. And even Captain Calm Eyes McGee has appeared unnervingly human in the last few postseasons. The Steinbrenners need their superstars to play like superstars when it matters most, but that's probably their biggest obstacle between here and the World Series.

Predictions:
LAA over BOS, 3-1
NYY over MIN, 3-0
NYY over LAA, 4-2

Part 2, on the National League, will be posted as soon as I learn some shit about the NL probably tomorrow.

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