Friday, November 6, 2009

Week 9 Preview: Please, Dear Lord...

-RWPilk's one sure thing... and we just jinxed him. Dammit!-

And here comes Week 9. Look at her, with her android phone and her miniature dog. Just so smug. That's a handicap spot, you vapid fashionista! Oh, but don't worry. She'll get her comeuppance. Cole and RWPilk are on the scene, ready to deal out some cold, fantasy football style justice. This late in the season, all managers are waiting for some risky dice-rolls to land in the end zone, our humble(ish) authors among them. So, look out your highness! Week 9 very well be theirs.

Current Standing: 6-2, tied for 1st Overall

Let's talk tight ends.


I mean, I could talk about Matt Forte -- again -- but really, I've just accepted my fate. The league's trading deadline is the 17th, and if every half-assed fantasy guru keeps talking about selling high after Forte's one good game, no one will be crazy enough to take a chance on him. It's tempting to package him with the Saints' defense, because there's no way they're scoring a defensive touchdown every week right? Well look at their schedule down the stretch. The Rams. The Bucs -- twice. The Panthers -- twice. The Redskins. Oy. I think I'd like to hang on to the defense going against that juggernaut, possibility of late-season collapse notwithstanding.

But anyway, tight ends. It's a thin position to begin with, and finicky outside the top scoring options: is Greg Olsen going to get 10 points or 2 this week? (Answer: two if you're starting him, 10 otherwise.) And then, in consecutive weeks, Chris Cooley (a preaseason top-six pick at the position) and Owen Daniels (tops at the position in a standard scoring league) were lost to injury. Now, if you're like me in my other league, you have two talented tight ends, like Jason Witten and Antonio Gates (thank you auction auto-draft), this is a good excuse to pick up some talent for the stretch. If you're not like me, and you have a surprising tight end (maybe like Vernon Davis or Visanthe Shiancoe), it might be worth it anyway to try to upgrade another position, even if you end up punting the TE position.

Holy shit, real fantasy advice! Who knew.

Current Standing: 4-4, 7th overall

Week 9 is mine? This is news to me.

Save my bitter loss from last week, no doubt the Sweet Fancy Moses have been more competitive as of late. But it's come at a price. My team is banged up and I've basically pitched a tent on the waiver wire. There's only been a few sure things in my line up. Brees is out of his funk. The Packers D remains a solid bet. And I'm currently carving a solid ivory WR Reggie Wayne bust for my room. You know, to watch over me.

Everyone else, everyone, has proven to be a gamble. I just had to dump K Neil Rackers this week. Why? Because even my kicker slot, the fantasy football equivalent to the points you get for filling in your name on the SATs, was bleeding points. God, and I loved that guy's name. "Rackers". Dammit.

There ain't much else to do though. This, apparently, is how you do this. You play Marshall. You play Westbrook. And, by god, you play Todd Heap and die a little inside. So, see you Sunday. I'll be the guy with the white knuckle clasp on the rabbit's foot.

1 comment:

  1. You guys think he's kidding about that bust.

    Friggin' creepy, let me tell you.