Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Week 4 Recap: And then there was 1. And 9.

-You magnificent bastard.-

And the battle of Week 4 is concluded. Blows were thrown. Saviors were forsaken. And victory was had. Despite all of Cole's nervous pacing and curmudgeon fist-shaking, he was able to stagger away from RWPilk's team and into first place. Four weeks in and the lines have been drawn... but there's still a lot of football left. What's the forecast? Perhaps our two authors know. Perhaps.

Current Standing: 3-1, 1st Overall

I for one would like to start by sending a small shout-out to Matt Forte, whose 37-yard touchdown scamper in garbage time was a dagger to Sweet Fancy Moses, which had been obnoxiously hanging around all afternoon. With two carries totaling 91 yards (not to mention his first score), Forte made me glad I picked him third overall. It also gave him 19 points, nearly doubling his season total for the third straight week. I've done some extrapolation, and let me tell you, those are some crunchy numbers. Suffice it to say by the league playoffs, Forte will have enough yardage to stretch from Chicago to Phoenix. With a stopover in Seattle.

And Brandon Marshall. I mean, whew. Thank God this was not a close game; I'd be willing to bet there were a lot of furious owners drinking themselves into oblivion after the Cowboys' defense lost the ability to tackle and gave Kyle Orton a second last-second touchdown. At this rate, Kardiak Kyle will make Brett Favre look like JaMarcus Russell.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. I just want to take it one game at a time. I'm just focusing on beating The Golden Boys next week. No, it doesn't mean anything that I didn't shake Rob's hand after the game. And I am NOT videotaping his roster selection. Sheesh.

Current Standing: 1-3, 9th Overall

Oh, woe is me. Things are not going well in the "Sweet Fancy Moses" camp. As you can tell, I lost. I'm now 1-3 with the season 1/4 over. There's still time, but this is a hole people. And if things are gonna get back to at least interesting, my record has to get competitive fast.

There's really only one big, glaring, air traffic controller-flagged failure in my roster this week: Drew f****** Brees. The hype machine is still rolling on Mr. Brees, as (when he comes back from his bye) is still a "must start" in all leagues. Two weeks in a row he's scored less than 10 points. Hell, less than 8. Everyone is telling me oh wow, what a great pick, Brees is gonna be the lead scorer by years end. When? It won't matter when I'm in 11th. These games count now. My must-sit RBs, that I had almost no choice but to play, scored just a point or two shy of "the best pick ever." Jacksonville's Garrard, on my bench, would have won the game for me in Brees' place. But such is the nature of fantasy sports. It's not that I ain't thankful for your 48 point Week 1, Drew. Is it possible to spread that around a little?

There are some other weak spots. My running game is hurtin', but Westbrook will be back next week (according to reports). And with some obligatory bye spots down, I can empty a few spots and look for some new players. Until then, the Sweet Fancy Moses, and my "hogwash" fantasy theory, is listed as "questionable" for Week 5.


  1. P-Dizzle,

    I will gladly take Drew Brees off your hands for a very reasonable price. Inquire within.


  2. Too bad you guys were scared to invite me to your league. Maybe you'll have balls next year.

  3. RE: C-Rizzle. I'm sure you would. Call me crazy all you want, but the proof is in the pudding. A combined two week total of 11. Either you put up the numbers... or you don't.

  4. As Bill Parcells has famously stated: "That's why they play the games."

  5. @Bill P: Is that even a top five Parcells quote? The one with the groceries comes to mind, and "She's doing well" re: Terry Glenn.

    @RWPilk: You are crazy. Last year you spent all year complaining about Peyton Manning, who ended up in the top 10 point scorers with over 4,000 yards passing, 28 touchdowns, and 16 starts. Who do you want for Drew Brees? Seriously.

    @Ted Hall: A blog league would be pretty cool, if only we had more readers. Maybe we'll do a league next year anyway, even if it's only five people.

  6. @Cole: You know that if you had a big hype player that wasn't producing, you'd be shoutin' it from the mountaintops. You HAVE, with Forte. Proof is a click away.

    And in our format, QBs are the biggest point generators. Having all the other winners from your league slapping you the back for your awesome QB pick while your record and QB points are in the toilet is very frustrating.

    And no, I'm not giving up on Brees yet. So he ain't available. Seriously.

  7. Brilliant article. Was just wondering, I really want to get into this, but don't know how to go about it. I've heard of a site called Clubbz.com, the sports and hobbies site. Are there any others? xXx

  8. Hey John,

    If it's fantasy football you're after, you are probably a little late this season: most leagues are already in full swing. Or at least should be.

    For next season try take a look at CBS and Yahoo for fantasy leagues. Some of these outlets have separate playoff leagues for the end of the season, you might have some fun there...

    On the other hand, you might just be an ad. You crafty devil.

  9. I kind of hate to admit this, but I seem to have actually LEARNED something about football. Whether or not it's from reading this blog has yet to be determined, but I realized while reading this weeks entry, I'm not completely lost in the conversation.


  10. That is the closest we've gotten yet to a ringing endorsement.

    I'll take it.