Saturday, October 17, 2009

Week 6 Preview: QB, or not QB

-Another fantasy scenario?-

And here it is. Week 6. Almost at the fantasy season halfway point. What have we learned? Never run with scissors. Or with Chris Cooley, he'll only bring you backwards. Rex Ryan doesn't want to be fed, Rex Ryan wants to hunt. And lastly, and more importantly, always respect personal space, even if there's taunting involved. Let's go Cole and RWPilk now for the forecast.

Current Standing: 2-3, 8th Overall

Like that caption? That's a double pun, dammit. Laugh.

I don't want to complain about Brees' cooled off numbers anymore, but I'm in a QB pickle: Brees vs Giants, or Garrard vs Rams. The RAMS! Two wildly inconsistent players facing two teams on the opposite end of the of suck meter. I may just flip a coin. My team is also going through some other changes. St. Louis' WR Avery is in for now... As is Phi WR Maclin, a waiver wire pickup. On top of that, NYG RB Bradshaw hasn't been practicing this week, with KC RB Larry "Oreck challenge" Johnson on my bench. I also got a WR trade that my or may not go through (T.O. for the Cowboys' Austin). It looks like my line up will probably have to set Sunday at quarter of 1pm. Oh, happy day.

I knew this is going to be a tough week. There have been signs. I woke from a bizarre dream the other night where I was in some kind of frat with Peyton Manning. Seriously. And he was like this miserable, dorky sophomore guy who was trying to show me the ropes and how to respect the seniors. And every time I turned around he was ironing his pants. Pair after pair. Lord, what does it mean!? Garrard or Brees! Why pants?! What do they mean?! Whyyyyy!!!

Current Standing: 4-1, 1st Overall

I -- wait, what? Pants?

Jesus, man, pull it together. Sounds like someone needs a priceless pep talk.

Huh. I guess MasterCard doesn't have one prerecorded for "weird dreams involving a pantsless Peyton Manning". Poor planning really.

Well, if that doesn't do it for you, there's plenty of high-quality real football available. Look at that 1:00 slate! The undefeated Giants and the undefeated Saints!* And if you don't like that, how about the Battle for the Purple: Ravens at Vikings. That, my friends, is truly going to be some sweet Flacco action. The Sunday night game features two 3-1 teams with excellent running backs, and the Monday night game features those excellent Broncos throwbacks.

That Vikes-Ravens game is going to be interesting: two quality defenses match up against two surprisingly good offenses. Can F**** continue his "ageless wonder" routine? Or will Joe Flacco and Ray Rice stop Jared Allen and a pass rush that humiliated the Packers two weeks ago? Getcha popcorn ready. I'm picking Vikings (-2.5); that defense looks brutal, and I haven't even mentioned Adrian Peterson.

* - The first time the Saints have hosted the Giants since 2005, when the refugee Saints were the designated home team in a game at Giants Stadium. Yeah, you thought we forgot about that. Screw you too, NFL.

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