Sunday, December 13, 2009

Week 14 Recap: Playoff Bound!

-It's good?! It's fan-freakin'-tastic!!!-

In tale that couldn't have been written, the SSFA! fantasy football battle plunges into high drama! In an long-shot comeback, RWPilk's team has swept its division... and earned a place in the playoffs! Now, Cole must lead his 1st place team into a re-match for the ages! Stay with us, folks, it doesn't get much better than this! The gauntlet is thrown, and all will finally know the truth about fantasy sports! Let's go to our authors now for the recap of these incredible events!

Current Standing: 8-6, 4th overall

This week, I have very little to say. But I think I've found something that sums it up quite nicely:

I won't gloat. Gloating would imply that I had something to do with the comeback my team has made. But that's not what my fantasy football theory is all about. Instead, I celebrate that my theory has legs... and the chance to be proven correct! Still, it feels good that my "team" went out and did exactly what it needed to do and swept my division (special shout out to WR Brandon Marshall for putting up record-breaking numbers). Fan-f***ing-tastic.

That is all. Ladies. Gentlemen. Cole? I'll see you all... next week.

Current Standing: 11-3, 1st Overall

You will never see a more disheartened 11-3 owner.

Beating the Moops 113-85 in the regular season finale was nice and all, but once again I left massive points on the bench thanks to Reggie Bush's two touchdowns and Matt Forte being, well, Khan.

So now I have a week to figure out how to get more than a dozen points out of my receivers. My options are Calvin Johnson (note to self: send Get Well Soon bouquet to Matt Stafford), Dwayne Bowe (off a suspension), Kenny Britt, Austin Collie, or Jerricho Cotchery (note to self: suicide = painless). And don't even bring up Greg "This-Could-Be-a-Good-Sleeper-TE-Pick" Olsen.

I'm off to the shrines I built to Chris Johnson and Ray Rice to see if they can't bail me out. Again. Time to call the boss and tell him I'm developing a severe illness that will incapacitate me for the next two weeks. How about shingles? Painful, contagious, common ... that might be the trick.


  1. I'll just say it like this, most of my team underpreformed for the year, yet still scored the most points. Throw in a loss by 1 point, a losing effort despite scoring 126 and there you have it. But don't worry guys, next year I'll be right back in it and now I've got a chip on my shoulder... A Chip Chipson.

  2. The Happy Pappys were pretty awesome this year... yet couldn't get the wins down. Sucks man.

    And Cole, you need to figure out how to get more than a dozen points out of your receivers, I need to figure out how to get more than a half dozen out of my RBs.

    Ahmed Bradshaw might be back though. TD on my bench.

  3. May the best man (or woman) win.