They're Talking About Practice

-Perhaps he should have been making his teammates better.-

RWPilk

Current Standing: 5-5, tied for 7th overall

First of all, you media types should stop referring to Allen Iverson as "A.I." I can't afford to spend more time clicking on NBA headlines hoping to hear about basketball-playing robots. I have things to do. My time is valuable.

Anyway, the non-robotic Allen Iverson just recently parted ways with the Grizzlies and the New York Knicks are already kinda considering bringing him aboard. But not really. At least not yet.

Despite my love that fateful press conference, I don't know much about Iverson. He skipped practice, I hear, and is largely unhappy on the teams he plays for. But, yet, always on a team. What's the deal? This happens to a lot of players. T.O. comes to mind. Randy Moss was one of these types until Belichick reigned him in. A-Rod was on a few teams before being on a team that requires you to be an asshole (there you go, Sawx fans). You know, these players that kinda seem poisonous to organizations, yet can't really be ignored because of their talent/hype. More so their hype. Once you're on a magazine cover, it's hard for teams that are 1-9 to leave you unemployed.

I don't mind. If there's one thing that keeps me watching sports it's personality. With a capital P. Remember Carl Everett? Where's that guy been? Playing for something called Atlantic League of Professional Baseball. Screw that, let's get this guy his own radio show. Are you there, Carl? I'm listening.

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Holy Hand/Eye Coordination, Bruce!

RWPilk

Current Standing: 4-4, 7th overall

Let's jump on this weird sports video headline before it fades in to the distance like so many spent cans of clean, crisp Simpler Times ale. The Kings and the Spurs were playing the other night-- wait a second. Can I pause for a second and address that NBA sports teams names are the worst in American sports? The Spurs? The Nuggets? The Utah Jazz? Is jazz really the first thing you think of when Utah comes to mind? I think my favorite is the Toronto Raptors. Bam! The Raptors! From Toronto. Founded right after the popularity of Jurassic Park, the Toronto Raptors sounds like a 90s artifact. How about the Tennessee Pogs? Are they a team? How about the Bangor Trapper Keepers? I'd like to play them.

Anyway, I digress. The video speaks for itself. Some crazy bat interrupted the game the other night, and Manu Ginobili swatted it out of the air in one shot. Nice job, Ginobili. Didn't you notice the little bat-camera on its back?! Now how will Batman know if the Joker was in attendance or not?! Selfish, selfish bastard.

Like clockwork, the USA's very own terrorist organization reared its self-important, veggie burger-shaped head. What up, PETA?

Bats always try to avoid contact with humans, and there are plenty of easy ways to keep bats out of a basketball arena (or your home). We hope that the next time someone’s life is on the line, Manu Ginobili will take just a few seconds to think before he acts.

Oh, what was that PETA? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I was just about to bite into this chicken, veal, bacon burger. With a side of unicorn fries. Yeah, and I'm sprinkling this guy everything. Mmm, mmm good. When I'm done, I'll be sure to address your public statement where you refer to a bat as "somone". In the meantime, pass the salt.

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