Gimme Five

-Up high! Down low! Too SLOW! ...That'll be five yards.-

RWPilk

Current Standing: 5-6, 8th overall

Nothing screams rompin' good fun like an official statement to the press dispelling the occurrence of a high five.

This week, the media was abuzz with an apparent high five that occured between QB Vince Young and ref Jerome Boger at the end of Titans/Texans MNF. I love stuff like this. Honestly, it looks like a coincidence, but it comes at just the right time where there's little buzzes floating around about refs favoring certain players and all that kinda nonsense/reality. Yee Haw! Eat it up, sports media outlets! I'm gonna run and grab Chris Berman a bib.

Of course, NFL suits are falling over themselves trying to deny it. Happenstance, they say. Serendipitous, yet unintentional, palm slapping. Perfectly understandable. The NFL then added, "Tweet about this, and we'll kill you."

Below is really, REALLY bad footage of it happening. Is it true? A hoax?! YOU decide!



Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. This footage looks familiar... I could swear I've seen this camera work before...



Well, and there you have. That proves it. Pure, unadulterated FACT.

Read more...

Shut Out, But Not Shutting Down

-Sadly, this is the Titans' best QB option.-

Cole
Current Standing: 5-1, 1st Overall

I've been inspired by Pilk's beating of the Redskins' dead horse (pause?). Clearly, Jim Zorn = not a good coach. Let's talk about Manly Men, who Coach the Right Way and Know How To Play the Game. Let's talk about Jeff Fisher.

Yes, that Jeff Fisher. Sure, his team quit on him, and yes, his Titans gave up 1.5 points per minute to the Patriots in the first half*. And yeah, he's belittled and snubbed Vince Young so much** that Reggie Bush is sending him thank you cards for ensuring Bush wasn't the biggest bust in the 2006 draft. And sure, he even found a way to piss off the entire fan base by wearing a Peyton Manning jersey while introducing former Colts coach Tony Dungy, and then quipping, "I just wanted to feel like a winner."

Well then.

But Titans fans can take cold (very cold) comfort in the fact that Fisher doesn't kick worthless field goals. Fisher could've avoided the ignominy of all that "worst shutout since 1976" talk midway through the third quarter, when a 48-yard Chris Johnson run put the ball on the Pats' 17 yard line. But when the inevitable fourth down rolled around, did Rob Bironas get called onto the field? No way. Fisher challenged his offense to put points on the board the hard way, even though (by this point) his offense had established that tying their collective shoes might pose a challenge. And Fisher was still going for it on fourth down in the fourth quarter; it's not entirely his fault Javon Ringer fumbled after picking up the first down.

There are crappy coaches out there, sure. Take Steve Spagnuolo of the Rams: down three on the road, St. Louis reached the Jaguars' nine with 15 seconds to go and one time out left, only to kick a field goal (on third down!) to send the game into overtime. Steve, you know there's a good chance you won't even get the ball in the extra period. This is your best chance to avoid Rod Marinelli-level infamy: go for it! Make it more interesting for the 14 fans in attendance.

My point is that, even though Fisher will most likely be fired at the end of the season, don't expect him to spend a long time out of football. He knows his stuff, he's won before, and he knows better than to look this stupid.

_____________
*-Seriously. Wow. Just look at that number for a minute. The Patriots scored more points in the first half than every other NFL team scored in 60 minutes (Saints excepted). Who does that?!
**-I for one thought Vince Young should've started the second half under center, but when you finally do come in and your first throw is a pick, your second one could've easily been a pick, and you fumble a snap ... you don't do many favors for yourself. Read more...

Step Aside, Doofus

RWPilk

Current Standing: 3-3, tied for 7th overall

We pause for a moment now to witness some public humiliation. Pass the popcorn.

Above is a video from ESPN on Washington Redskins head coach Jim Zorn's latest press conference. The Redskins' front office, concerned with the season so far (and last season), have stripped away Zorn's play-calling authority and handed it over to some johnny-come-lately whippersnapper Sherman Lewis.

Alright, so Zorn's play calling hasn't landed the Redskins in the end zone in a home game all season. And they're 2-4. And the team is rarely in contention for anything. It ain't pretty. Zorn can be seen above taking it like a man and happy to have the privilege of deciding other key factors, like whether or not to go for it on forth down (don't), what to call for overtime flips (tails), and what the official team pie is (rhubarb).

Still, Washington front office, have you ever heard of the Rams? Or, my God, the Titans?! What 1 o'clock game were you gents watching Sunday? When Zorn pilots a 0-5 record and lands himself ass-first into a 59-0 loss, then you're allowed to start worrying and turn him into a headset-wearing figurehead. Until then, you're just a Negative Nancy.

Read more...

Week 6 Recap: the Skin of our Teeth

-Where the wild things are: Baltimore-

Week 6! Oh, glorious, glorious Week 6! How you leave us wondering how MNF will treat us. Both Cole and RWPilk are embroiled in close(ish) match-ups, victory hanging in the balance! Will Pilk's record start the hearty climb towards Cole's winning streak? Will Cole pull off a narrow escape to victory? Will Cole buy Pilk beer out of the warm kindness of his heart!? This, and much more below!

Cole

Current Standing: 4-1, 1st Overall

As I wait with bated breath on the performance of one Correll Buckhalter, I find myself praising the name of one Ray Rice, who made up for the whole no-touches-near-the-goal-line thing by being the first running back to score a touchdown against the Vikings in forever. And no, Jim, you can't have him for Thomas Jones.

I also find myself cursing the name, Wrath of Khan-style, of Matt Forte, who made up for the whole no-touches-near-the-goal-line thing by fumbling on second down from the one, recovering, and then fumbling on third down from the one and not recovering. No touchdown, minus two points for the lost fumble, things thrown, and Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth got to have a nice little conversation about how he never ever fumbles. Henceforth, he shall be known as Matt "Khan" Forte. It's that level of frustration. Donovan McNabb gets a pass (sorry) for this week because of his stella stellar performance last week.

Meanwhile, back at the wrench, what the hell is going on in the NFL? Your guess is as good as anyone else's. Aside from the Raiders game, crappy team after crappy team outshone expectations ... or at least covered the spread. We've figured out by now the Titans are indeed horrifying, but 45 points? In one half? And I enjoyed watching the Saints bludgeon the Giants, but I'm not going to talk about them for fear I might jinx them. This is after I tweeted, "Hey, Tulane's beating 23rd-ranked Houston!" and the Green Wave turned a three-point lead into a 28-point embarrassment. So for you, Ted, I say only that certain teams were really fun to watch this weekend. Not to mention any names, but whatever team it was, it certainly looked like a force to be reckoned with come playoff time.

RWPilk

Current Standing: 2-3, 8th Overall

Alright. Mr. Brees? I'm sorry I doubted you. Let's leave it at that.

Overall, I'm optimistic. I gotta 17 point lead going into tonight with Brandon Marshall still to play (against an opposing Denver kicker). I'm glad to report that some of my strategic moves worked out this week. STL WR Avery got hurt Sunday, but found the end zone before doing so, making the sting of Reggie Wayne's bye week that much milder. My waiver wire gamble, PHI WR Maclin, ended up being a bust (as was all of Philly's effort, c'mon McNabb, Oakland!?). My T.O. trade (my first ever!) for DAL WR Austin went through, so we'll see how that works out next week when I pair him with Wayne.

Barring any catastrophes, I'll end up 3-3. Not great. But getting there.

Read more...