Fantasy Football '09 Wrap Up: Live!

-No pressure, big guy.-

Uh... so, yeah. Our authors Cole and RWPilk gotta little tied up yesterday and didn't keep up with any of the live blogging. I mean they were literally tied up. Yeah, Albanian rebels seized their apartment and drank all their beer right in front of them. Good God, the humanity. But they're back now and ready to enjoy some MNF and discuss the epic match up that was this weekend (and perhaps this oh, so illustrious fantasy season as a whole). So get the refresh button ready... 'cause it be on!

Monday Night Football
Giants vs Redskins
8:30pm on ESPN

RWPilk

Current Standing: 8-6, 4th overall
Current Score: 93

Alright, let's kick this mofo off. Apologies for the abandoned live blog yesterday for those who joined us for awesomeness. But we'll try and bring the awesomeness here tonight, it hasn't expired yet. We smelled it to make sure. Our fantasy teams were busy, however, doing what they do best: scoring points and inspiring heavy drinking. But more on that later.

And that was kick off, Giants with the ball. Fantasy players aside (Ganther and Boss for me tonight) I think I'm rooting for the Giants tonight. They're so scrappy. You just wanna eat'em up! And that's Bradshaw already with a TD. He'll enjoy it on my bench.

Cole
Current Standing: 11-3, 1st Overall
Current Score: 59

ell, you really did it to me this time, Pilki -- ait, the Giants are scrappy? They're from Ne York. No one from Ne York has ever been the "little guy". No ay.

But my life is miserable tonight. My fantasy team embarrassed itself out there all around. Every crappy bust I had all year let me down, but so did every clever pickup I made this eek. No my thumbs are broken, I'm eating soup and toast because I have no money for food, and I broke my "vv" key, so you on't see any of those all night.

Oh good, now it's time for Tom Coughlin and Jim Zorn to star in "The Men ho Stare Blankly at the Field." Aesome.

RWPilk
Cole's had a tough week, the prophetic missing "w" from his keyboard. Yes. No "w" for Cole this week, barring some kind of TE Fred Davis miracle game. Bradshaw is kicking ass tonight. Perhaps RB Ganther was a bad replacement move... Oh man, that's another touchdown for him. Between him and TE Todd Heap, my coaching rating is going straight into the toilet.

Cole
Coach rating. hat a pain in the ass. All that means is you have no options on your bench that are in the vicinity of being orthhile. You ant a useful measure, look at points. For instance, Mark ill be joining you in the finals despite being ... 10th in the league?! hat the hell is that shit? hatever.

Regardless, I don't kno hat I'm going to do next eek no. atch the games normally? Then I'll end up critiquing things like the fact that the Redskins are earing red pants and red jerseys. Yamahama.

RWPilk
It's Giants 17, Redskins nothing with just over 6 minutes left in the 2Q. This a really quick game. So let's get to the nitty gritty: Cole, my man, what the hell happened this week? I was shaking in my boots all week. 11-3! No one close to that record. Now you need TE Davis to score like 40 points to have a prayer against the Moses. Give us the breakdown.

Cole
Oh it's broken. Look, here's the deal: my running backs had orse eeks than your receivers. Like infinitely orse. Chris Johnson scored 13 and Ray Rice had nine, but hen Reggie ayne and Miles Austin both drop 19 on me, it's a big hole to climb back from.

I got eight points from both of my receivers combined, and a nice -1 from Arian Foster, thanks to a fumble on the first drive and subsequent burial on the bench by Gary "Captain Hook" Kubiak. But I'd like to give a big middle-finger to the asshole ho said, "Hopefully u weren't burned by the #Texans backfield. Yes, Foster was a hot pickup, but that didn't make him a must-play!!!" Maybe not, but the fact that everyone and their mother told me to start him, that made him a must-play.

One more thing I've learned here this season: if you have a defense that you picked up off aivers, and they're ranked #1 based solely on their ability to score defensive touchdons, you should trade them for a real defense before they crap the bed against decent offenses. But that's another story for another day.

RWPilk
I've been between 1st and 3rd all season with my receiving. Austin, Marshall, Wayne. Can't complain there (although I'm sure I did a bunch of times). To be honest, I thought I was finished after Saturday night's special presentation of Thursday night football when Brees walked away from the game with 1 TD, 1 pick, 2 fumble, and 11 points. With the New Orleans defeat, I thought Cole had sealed the deal. I didn't really relax until RB McCoy found the end zone Sunday evening. I really thought you had it.

The Redskins just bombed it down the field. Positive yards for these guys. Finally. And a drop in the end zone by Fred Davis. Yikes.

Cole
Until McCoy? You ere up 30 from the end of the Saturday night game on. This as a orse game than the Redskins-Giants debacle e're currently atching. hat is that deal ith that special teams debacle by the Redskins at the end of the half. Oy.

RWPilk
Halftime: Giants 24, Redskins 0. I think Jim Zorn has left. He's bored. Like us. How many competitive games have we live blogged? One? We're a total live blog jinx.

I'd like to give a shout out to the four votes that came in to our poll today voting for me after yesterday's score was posted. I admire your courage. Thomas Jefferson, Susan B. Anthony, residents of the new Iraq... you share their spirit. Shine on.

Cole
Hey, I voted for you like 4 pm yesterday. Until next time, Gadget.

RWPilk
No, no, no, you're not going anywhere yet. Fred Davis just scored a touchdown. That puts you down by only 29! This is what we call a code red, people! Well, maybe not red. A more soothing color. A code lavender!

Cole
Yeah, pause. That's orth a pause. Oh, hello Kevin Boss.

RWPilk
Boss ran down an official. That should be extra points. That puts me at 99 and Cole at 67. Summer of Love, Bryan. Summer of Love.

Cole
Yeah yeah aesome. Meanhile, I spent hours and hours poring over scouting reports, carefully selecting a lineup, and I got outscored by pretty much everyone else in the league. If you're going to lose, you might go out with a bang so people say, "Man! No that guy got CANNED!" Losing on a nebulous tiebreaker ould almost be orse.

RWPilk
Wow... just-- wow. Jason Campbell just lobbed it to an opposing player like they were playing catch out in the ol' back yard. That makes it 38 to 6, Giants. Bryan reports that "Redskins" is a trending topic over at Twitter. It's popular like slowing down to see a bloody accident on the side of the road is popular.

Cole
Redskins punch it in but don't get the to-point conversion. This isn't even a game. This isn't even an approximation of a game. This is like, if you're playing Cranium and you have to dra a picture of "football game" with your eyes closed and your left hand, that's what this game is.

ait, as that Ganther? Oh for...can I go already?

RWPilk
Oh, they're throwing punches! They're fighting! Oh man. This game is awful. Even the players are like f*** it, let's rumble. And, yes, that was RB Ganther in the end zone... making me not look like a complete idiot.

Cole
Fred Davis collects a couple more yards in garbage time and I at least collected 12 points from my tight end. I don't kno hen the last time I got that many points from a tight end, but I did get 16 over my last five eeks. Lovie Smith and Greg Olsen, you too are not on my Christmas card list. You either Matt Forte.

Ah, scre it. One more time!

RWPilk
We've said it before, tight ends are tough. Anything four is an above average score for them. Unless you have Clark or something. Alright the commentators are talking about how tall the Manning brothers are. If they can't make this game interesting, we sure as hell aren't. Any last words, Cole?

Cole
I can't post that Khan video again, can I?

RWPilk
No.

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Broke Up the Post Pattern

- CBS Sports' crack team creates playoff tiebreaker scenarios. -

Cole

Current Standing: 11-3, 1st Overall
Woof. That was one of the most embarrassing performances in recent memory.

Only a couple of posts all day? Pathetic. At least we had that open-comment thing going on, which was kind of cool.

Oh yeah, and my team sucked up the place too.

Don't worry, though. We're going to recap everything tonight anyway. Copious amounts of alcohol are listed as "probable".

Join us tonight for MNF!
NY Giants vs WAS Redskins
8:30PM EST on ESPN

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MNF Live Blog: Pats vs Saints

-A rolling Randy Moss gathers no... stones? We got nothing.-

Here we go again! Sit back and crack a cold one with some fantasy football greatness: you're at a Sweet, Sweet Flacco Action! live blog! How this works - RWPilk and Cole will write in real time with the airing of the game listed above. The blog entries will work downward on this page, the most recent writing occurring at the bottom of the page. All you'll need to do is occasionally hit your REFRESH button of your internet browser to keep up with the mayhem! So kick back and enjoy!

Monday Night Football
New England Patriots at New Orleans Saints
8:30pm on ESPN

Cole

Better late than never! While Pilk was off buying beer and complaining about Drew Brees, you missed 10 points. It's already 7-3 Patriots as two odd things happened: John Carney's field goal bounced off the upright and through, and Laurence Maroney looked like a real running back. Yikes.

RWPilk
For those of you who don't know, my fantasy football victory is riding on tonight. Go Brees! Oh, wait, come to think of it so is Cole's. Colebag who are you watching with bated breath tonight?

Cole
I dunno...the Saints' DST? I dunno, I already clinched. I'm playing for seeding. I beat you into the playoffs, Peyton Manning! Eat it with sauce.

RWPilk
Whooo hooo! And Brees gets the ball back. And better yet... pretty boy Brady gets dirt in his eye! Let the first of 50 TD throws begin! Right? 50? That's reasonable.

Cole
At the end of the first quarter. Ron Jaworski's talking about the way the Saints' offensive line "gets off". I mean, there's not a pause big enough in the Western Hemisphere for this. Oop, uplifting commercial of Brees throwing to Obama. You get points for that, right Pilk?

RWPilk
Oh, ha ha. Oooo and Mike Bell is down. That's not good. He's running back though right? Maybe they'll throw more... Are they in the red zone yet here? Let's go!

Cole
And now the Saints go for it on fourth down! Man, I love this new league-wide chutzpah. New Orleans rewarded with a Pierre Thomas touchdown off a screen pass. 10-7 with the extra point.

RWPilk
Oh, yeah. And that gives the Sweet Fancy Moses a momentary lead. I'd link to Our Teams page, however, I'm lazy. It's right over there on our right sidebar. I like the jazz as we transition to commercial. Oh, to the NO-based new Disney movie, too. Is there Popeye's commercial coming up?

Cole
Oh man. Don't tempt me. We should've got Raisin' Cane's for some high-quality New Orleans chicken. I -- wait, did Gruden just say "who dat"?

RWPilk
Cole, you were in NO once. Enlighten us. What is WHODAT? Some kinda battle cry?

Cole
I may have been there but I certainly wasn't sober. Some kind of chant: "Who dat! Who dat! Who dat say they gonna beat them Saints!"

...it sounds better if you're drinking heavily, the standard rule of thumb for enjoying New Orleans.

RWPilk
Ah, and that's another one for Brees. All the criticism for the Saints for this game is that they haven't really played anyone that talented yet. I get the feeling that after tonight is over that won't have changed. Bam.

Cole
Even the girlfriend (surprise surprise, right?) is annoyed at the broadcasters. "Stop jerking off to Tom Brady over here." Costly penalty right after the announcers say, "Oh look, no penalty flags." And now they're talking about how Randy Moss has no catches. Guess what that means.

RWPilk
This game is flying by... it's almost half time. Do you think Belichick yells? I wonder what the this halftime locker room will be like. Maybe it'll just be a "it is what it is" kinda deal.

Cole
Oh no. Did you see the protege Kenny Bania Josh McDaniel chew out the Broncos? Trust me. Dude yells.

RWPilk
Another TD for Brees. That makes it NE 10 NO 24. I'm really low on points for my Wild Card race, so let's rack it up here. I want more TDs! I'm actually a little surprised. Pats are a "second half" team, but c'mon. Somebody do something. If NO starts pulling starters, I'll be pissed.

Cole
There is way too much offense in this game for someone who uses the Saints' defense. But Pilk, trust me. There is no such thing as a sure thing with the Saints. Go look up the River City Relay.

RWPilk
I don't have time to look up stuff here. Wow, missed field goal for Stanley Kowalski, or whatever the hell his name is. ...And that's halftime. Tell'em how it is, Berman.

Cole
Saints 24, Patriots 10 at the half. For your continued amusement -- so you don't have to pay attention to Chris Berman -- we have a special guest. Give a warm SSFA! welcome to Den Santa Claus!

SantaC!
HO HO HO

Alright boys and girls, what would you like for Christmas? The Saints defense continuing to somehow shutdown teams and score TDs? Peyton Manning and the Colts to stay as lucky as if he has a horseshoe up his...wait a minute hmmm...? Detroit Lions to win a game or Big Ben to get his yearly concussion? Those gifts came early this year! Ah well Santa is outta time and has to get back to the North Pole and tell Buddy the Elf what my favorite color is.

RWPilk
Well, that was... bizarre. But, we did promise special guests. Oh yes, we look forward to more Celtics post from everybody's favorite guest-blogger, DennyP! I wish I was cool enough to have punctuation at the end of my handle. Now let's go to Cole for this burning question: where's Randy Moss?

Cole
There he is: a coupla yards and an immediate drop/recovery. Please stop mentioning him - maybe he'll continue not doing things. As a Saints fan, I'm a little nervous to see how they're going to screw this up. That challenge was not a good start. They're going to need that time out.

RWPilk
I'm watching Maroney, he's on my opposing team tonight. Screw him. Oh, and there's a long one to Moss. I should have just waited a second. What's going on, Saints DST?

Cole
Maroney punches it in from the two (his second of the night) and the extra point makes it Saints 24, Patriots 17. I'ma need my Tums before this is all said and done. That or a coupla drinks. Maybe both.

RWPilk
May I suggest a Vesper? -hums Bond theme- Anyway, Saints back at with the ball. And a big throw to Colston... get in the end zone, you bum! And there it is to Dinkins. Bam. After the point, that'll make it NO 31 NE 17.

Cole
We don't even have time to make funny comments, just keep up with the points scored. It's like liveblogging a basketball game.

RWPilk
You're right. Let's see what the Pats will do here. God love'em, they're making first downs. And in the red zone. Whoa... was that a Michael Jackson mask in the crowd. I'm not sure. It had a nose.

Cole
Looks like the Pats are going for it on fourth down again. Guys, I will insist from now until the end of time going for it was the right call. Time out Pats, and that's not as good a call.

RWPilk
And back it goes to the Saints. In retrospect, a field goal may have helped a little there, Bill. Damn. I can just see the headlines tomorrow. Mark my words, there will be a photoshopped headline photo with Belichick with a dunce cap. The Globe should call me. I have several just sittin' around.

Cole
That's really more of a Herald article, honestly. Maybe "Bungling Bill", or is the Beatles reference too obscure?

Meanwhile, the challenge for the Saints is to burn some clock. Even with the sack there, the Saints are moving the ball at will both through the air and on the ground. We're just now at the end of the third quarter, and the score is 31-17 Saints.

RWPilk
And the ball goes back to Pats. Time is getting critical and the Pats need multiple scores to get back in this. Long throw to... Aiken? Who the hell is that? Third and 9. Awesome.

Cole
Charles Grant barely misses a sack, and the Pats are forced into a fourth and five. Surprisingly, the Pats punt, and New Orleans has the ball with 13 minutes left in regulation.

RWPilk
Wow all the way to the 4th quarter for a Katrina reference. BTW I've successfully blocked out these commentators tonight. I've missed every awkward quote, every gaff. In a way. I'm a little sad about it. I miss it. Another first down for the Saints. WHODAT!? It was Brees.

Cole
I don't -- that's not -- you -- sigh.

Moving on. 10:30 left, and the score is still 31-17 Saints. The commentators are bored -- they're talking about Katrina and how great the Saints' GM is. But there's still worlds of time here, guys. Don't leave yet. It is the Saints we're talking about.

RWPilk
What? I was comfortable with the idea that all of NO just had really bad eyesight. I ain't changin'.

Correction: it's now 38-17 Saints. The NE sideline looks a little bewildered right now. My score is looking sweeeeeeeeeeet though. Highest score of the week? I thinks so.

Cole
Halfway through the fourth now and the Pats are scrambling. Brady launches a prayer to ... no one really ... and Darren Sharper picks it off. Good times for those playing the Saints' D. Only 30 yards shy of their ninth DTD.

RWPilk
I need just ONE more point to get the highest score of the week. And that's a missed field goal for the NO kicker. And he looks pissed. Don't take it to heart, buddy. The team will survive.

Cole
We have a BenJarvus Green-Ellis sighting, AND a Brian Hoyer sighting. Any time the Law Firm comes in, I think Mr. Belichick is conceding one. It's punted away, and there's four minutes left for the Pats to score another 21. Pats apparently have been outscored 47-10 after halftime in their road losses. This is not a championship team, to rip off Jon Gruden.

RWPilk
Commentators saying Brees is STILL in. He better stay in. I need mad points, yo. And it's the two minute warning. Cole, what can the Pats do to turn this around? Keep in mind, finding a magical lamp does not count.

Cole
This year? Not much. The Pats are going to need some defensive help -- Jerod Mayo can't do it alone -- and a power running back, to make defenses back off the pass a bit.

Well, the broadcasters just referenced MC Hammer. I think that's a sure sign the game is over. Final score is Saints 38, Patriots 17 as the Saints improve to 11-0. Good night folks.

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This Monday: MNF Live Blog!

-Our prediction? Pain. And jambalaya.-

Yes, it's that time of year again! It's time for another installment of SSFA! Live Blogging! This week: Patriots and Saints Monday Night Football! Awesome. Join Cole and RWPilk as they blog it out whilst these two teams engage in what is sure to be one of the best MNF matchups of the year. Who knows what'll happen or who will join us! Maybe Santa! Would like that, kids? Would you like it if Santa live blogged with Cole and RWPilk? Leave out some PBR and cookies and we'll talk.

New England Patriots at New Orleans Saints
Monday, November 30th, 2009
ESPN at 8:30pm

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Gimme Five

-Up high! Down low! Too SLOW! ...That'll be five yards.-

RWPilk

Current Standing: 5-6, 8th overall

Nothing screams rompin' good fun like an official statement to the press dispelling the occurrence of a high five.

This week, the media was abuzz with an apparent high five that occured between QB Vince Young and ref Jerome Boger at the end of Titans/Texans MNF. I love stuff like this. Honestly, it looks like a coincidence, but it comes at just the right time where there's little buzzes floating around about refs favoring certain players and all that kinda nonsense/reality. Yee Haw! Eat it up, sports media outlets! I'm gonna run and grab Chris Berman a bib.

Of course, NFL suits are falling over themselves trying to deny it. Happenstance, they say. Serendipitous, yet unintentional, palm slapping. Perfectly understandable. The NFL then added, "Tweet about this, and we'll kill you."

Below is really, REALLY bad footage of it happening. Is it true? A hoax?! YOU decide!



Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. This footage looks familiar... I could swear I've seen this camera work before...



Well, and there you have. That proves it. Pure, unadulterated FACT.

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Live Blog: MNF Packers vs Vikings!

-Are you ready for some embarrassment?!-

Green Bay Packers at Minnesota Vikings
October 5th, 2009
8:30pm EST on ESPN

Welcome one and all! Sit back and bear witness to a fantasy football showdown: you're at a Sweet, Sweet Flacco Action! live blogging extravaganza! How this works - RWPilk and Cole will write in real time with the airing of the game listed above. The blog entries will work downward on this page, the most recent writing occurring at the bottom of the page. All you'll need to do is occasionally hit your REFRESH button of your internet browser to keep up with the mayhem! So kick back and enjoy!

Cole

Alright! Welcome one and all to SSFA!'s 2nd live blog! Come on in and warm yourself by the fire of burning football wreckage!

RWPilk
And for those that don't know, this was Cole and I's first and only match up week in our league And I'm sorry to say that, barring some kind of Green Bay D miracle tonight (40+ points) he will win. But more on that later. MNF is on Packers! Vikings! That Favre guy! Let's do it!

Cole
Aaaand Mike Tirico kicks off with hyperbole #1: "If you built a Mount Rushmore of Green Bay, B**** F**** would be on it." Sigh.

RWPilk
Who else would be on it? A dairy cow?

Cole
I dunno ... Vince Lombardi? Bart Starr? Curly Lambeau? Aaannd... yeah all right, fine. F****. Hyperbole continues, by the way. I'm pretty sure Adrian Peterson is not the best runner of all time after one full season.

RWPilk
Bryan, looking into the crowd, can we possibly quantify how many bad hats we're gonna see tonight? Cheese. Horns. This has gotta be the worst game to attend and actually sit behind someone.

Cole
Donald Lee with an athletic move, and the Pack is having some success with the short game on the first drive; they're already near the 50.

RWPilk
"He could play in space!" ...I don't know what that means, announcer man. And a fumble. Here we go Packers D! What are the chances of 17 sacks and 21 picks?

Cole
Welp, You-Know-Who is on the field now. For those of you playing the F**** drinking game, my condolences to your families, as you clearly won't survive this. Please note, by the way, F**** is working with Adrian Peterson, not vice versa. If this team succeeds, it's because Peterson runs over everyone. Or because F**** doesn't throw 90 picks.

RWPilk
Taunting! I don't get points for taunting, Packers! Jesus. Keep the pie holes shut and just sack, sack, sack.

Cole
Look on the bright side: one big hit, and the fate of the Vikings rests in the hands of one Tarvaris Jackson. Or Sage Rosenfels.

RWPilk
Ah, and there it is. He was wide open! What are you people doing!? Adrian Peterson! And, by the way, is it just me or does Favre look like a kid wearing his dad's clothes? That jersey is like Refrigerator Perry size! -rimshot- That's right folks, I just made a successful NFL joke. I know a little bit.

Cole
Nooo! Pilk! Ixnay on the intelligence. You'll blow our cover!

RWPilk
Actually I only know that because I know the a jeweler who worked for the company that produced the Superbowl rings that year for the Steelers. He said you could fit a dachshund in Perry's ring. A dachshund! Anyway. Awesome play, Packers. And now it's a game.

Cole
...Perry played for the Bears. He shuffled and everything! Back to normal. Phew. And just in time for F**** to retake the field.

RWPilk
Is it too much ask for a pick? Aw thanks, Harvin. I need more Vikings to down themselves in the backfield. And I'm gonna go out on a limb and say pause for that. I'll sleep better.

Colebag, can we talk about the Eagles for a moment? We both got some big guns coming back for week 5. And I know, at least in my case, it's not soon enough.

Cole
Oh what, now? Oops. Okay. I know McNabb practiced today, haven't heard anything about Westbrook yet.

Uh oh. Meanwhile, Rodgers gets his bell rung on a huge sack and a terrible pass. Looks more and more like Brett every day, huh Pack fans.

RWPilk
"All these Packers are trying to hit Favre right now!" Yeah. Because one good hit will remind Favre it's past his bedtime. You have weeding to do tomorrow, Brett! Weeding!

Cole
You know, this drive Peterson's been held more or less in check and F****'s been carving up the Packers' D, just like on that TD pass to Sidney Rice. Still gotta work on those celebrations with Chester Taylor, though.

RWPilk
For those watching at home who aren't getting enough Favre mentions, Sears is here to fill that void in your life. Good God. Just when you thought it was safe to watch commercial breaks. Alright, back to the game!

Cole
Vikings' defense shuts down Rodgers again, and someone's looking like an idiot for picking the Pack +3.5. And that'd be me. Oh well, still up after the week in my picks league.

RWPilk
Oh! Take it, Peterson! That a DTD for my team! Whahahahaha! You go and you think about that, Adrian!

Cole
Whoa! Good morning. What a hit on the kickoff return. Vikes get the ball back and, I assume, so will Peterson. The Packers are awake again.

RWPilk
That was a pick! C'mon refs! Oh, good christ! Stop talking about Favre's age. He's old... we all get it! I want him sacked and ground into some kind of fine, milk soluble powder. Cheers!

Cole
Oh, I see you're doing a good job making up for a mostly sober first half.

Meanwhile, can someone tell Jon Gruden we don't care what he looked like in 1992? Please, Jon, shut your face already. As we hit halftime, I never thought I'd say it, but I almost miss Tony Kornheiser. Wait, no I don't.

RWPilk
Alright. 2nd half. I'm trying to get excited, but not even Kid Rock helps. I got a bad feeling for Green Bay. Whoa that guy spray-painted his cheesehead black! "Favre for life!" I'm frightened! And there's a connection for Favre... and some guy. God dammit!

Cole
I believe that's spelt, "Favre 4 Life." Maybe "4 Lyfe" even. And you know your defense is in trouble when your cornerback is fixing his mouthpiece as his man coasts into the end zone.

RWPilk
Apparently we have a guy following SSFA! for actual sports news. Holy god. Didn't think it would happen. For the record, it's GB 14 Vikings 28, 3rd quarter. So, there you go buddy. Thanks for following? lol Wow.

Cole
Can you tell that we're new/not good at this? A big shout out to Lone Star College and whatever anonymous teacher is depending on us for updates...you poor bastard. On the off chance it's not blocked, here's the GameTracker.

Meanwhile, while we spent the last 10 minutes trying to figure out where the hell Lone Star College is, the Packers have taken the ball down to the Minnesota 35, as Rodgers is connecting through the air as the pocket collapses. Nothing deep, but infinite eight-yard passes will get you there eventually.

RWPilk
Thank GOD that wasn't a fumble, and the "body part of the arm" wasn't a crucial factor. The Vikings are still stopping them on the line! C'mon Packers! Go for it on 4th down!

Cole
Fourth down from the 1.5 yard line, and GB goes empty backfield...and Donald Lee drops the pass in the end zone! Right through his hands, and a turnover on downs. Aaron Rodgers is understandably disappointed.

RWPilk
Well, I can still hope for a safety! Mwahahahaha! The most embarrassing of NFL scores! I have to say though, that was some incredible red zone defense for the Vikings.

Cole
I don't understand why the Vikings are still throwing so much here. You have Peterson, why not use him? You run down a lot more clock than F**** gunning incompletions down the sideline.

Oh, and that's the end of the 3rd quarter, still 28-14 Vikings.

Cole
Interesting play call by the Vikings: Wildcat formation, reverse gets the ball to Sidney Rice, who looks downfield before scrambling out of the pocket and wisely throwing the ball well out of bounds. Vikings punt the ball away with 13 minutes left, and called 8 passes to 3 runs during that drive. As exciting as those kind of plays are to watch, if I were a Vikings fan, I would be having a coronary about the play calling come December.

-A reenactment of the tonight's MNF announcing. C'mon people-

RWPilk
Alright. I'm not writing about Favre ever again. I've had my fill for a lifetime tonight. Just one more touchdown would make this an interesting game. Green Bay is getting another shot. Let's see what happens!

Cole
Welcome to the club, Pilk. And you know, they keep talking about how great a game F**** is having, but Rodgers has been sacked six times and F**** hasn't even hit the artificial turf recently. Add that to the fact that Ryan Grant is getting killed trying to get the ball out of his own end zone -- oop! and another sack/turnover for the Vikes' D. Conclusion: Minnesota has a world-class offensive line and defensive line. Meanwhile, the announcers have talked about how "courageous" the Vikings' ownership is, but would you hear about the line play? Yeah right.

Green Bay challenged that it was an incomplete pass rather than a fumble. Replays make it look like a safety. And Jaworski just said taking a safety is better than giving up a touchdown for the Packers. Uh, no, because the Vikings get the ball after a safety, which leads to (a) the potential for more points, and (b) more time off the clock. Attaboy, Ron.

With the reversal, Minnesota picks up two points and it's now 30-14 with 7:21 left.

RWPilk
Mike Tirico "I know we mentioned Favre is gonna turn 40 a couple of times..." A couple of times?! Jesus Christ! I think I know his shoe size, his darkest fear, and the name of his 4th grade teacher by now. Sigh. For the record: it's Packers 14, Vikings 30. 5 min left in the 4th quarter.

Cole
Rodgers' scrambling leads to a 33-yard touchdown for Jordy Nelson. The 2-point conversion fails though, because -- surprise surprise -- the Vikings apply way too much pressure. 30-20 with 3:40 left.

RWPilk
Well, I hate to say it, but it looks pretty bleak for the Packers. Especially after the missed 2pts. Packers trail by 10 in the final 3 1/2 minutes. You know Bryan, I was just reading an article about how a significant portion of the Packers team didn't even play with Favre so were not "fired up" for this game. I would have disagreed in the the first half. But now... maybe a little.

Cole
I'm not worried about that, to be honest. That's the kind of "hindpsychology" that everyone uses after the game but is completely worthless beforehand.

Speaking of worthless, let's talk about Brad Childress' terrible playcalling. After the Packers use their last timeout, Childress calls a long bomb that of course falls incomplete and gives the Packers the ball back after a mere 30 seconds. Terrifying. I said it before, I'll say it again: the Vikes win despite Childress, not because of him. Grant goes out of bounds and Green Bay is scrambling for some points with just under 2 minutes left.

RWPilk
Good God, coach McCarthy. You're the picture of confidence. Turning through your little playbook 2-ring binder like an 8th grader in desperate need of his hw. Shaking your head like you have absolutely no idea what's going on. You're killin' me man! And the seconds tick down. I congratulate Bryan on a good win this week. My team did not deliver. More on that tomorrow. Cole, some closing thoughts?

Cole
Degenerate gamblers everywhere were screaming at their TVs for Green Bay to score a touchdown and cover the spread.

Oh Christ. Now Michelle Tafoya drools over B**** F**** in the usual self-serving interview. The worst of the worst, as F**** says, "I'm always emotional," with tears in his eyes. Oh really. Well, Manny Ramirez just called; says he has some hormones to help with your menopause.

And then Mike Tirico adds insult to injury by throwing in, "You're probably sick of hearing about the drama." Yeah. Yeah we are. And now Trent Dilfer just called him, "absolute magic". I hate all types of things now.

RWPilk
And that concludes our 2nd live blog! Stay tuned for more fantasy hilarity tomorrow and thanks to all who joined us for the insanity tonight. I think I speak for both Cole and I when I say... Screw this! I'm going to bed.

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Monday Night Live Blogging!

-Two words for you, dude. "Tic, Tac."-

Cole and RWPilk are at it again! To commemorate the only week this season that our two authors will be going head-to-head, SSFA! will host another live blog for Monday Night Football! Just as Green Bay and Minnesota's rivalry spills over when Favre switches uniforms, Cole and RWPilk will put their fantasy theories to the test in this one-on-one gauntlet! So tune in for every blow, every beer, every quiet sob of bitter humiliation!
The hilarity commences Monday!

Green Bay Packers at Minnesota Vikings
October 5th, 2009
8:30pm on ESPN

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