Monday, August 31, 2009

Y'all Can't Do Tedy Like THIS!

-Bill wanted me to tell you, Tedy Bear... door's that way.-


Attention all fantasy footballers! Anyone getting in on some late drafting action and had their (lazy) eye on the soft, nougat-filled New England defense, drop that fork! Sunday night it broke that defensive captain and merit badge champion Tedy Bruschi is retiring. Of course, "retire" is a term we'll use loosely. The guy is 36, hasn't been a play-maker in a few years, and is really better known for injuries and health problems more than anything else. He's probably retiring just as much as Nixon resigned. Still, for whatever reason, he's a big ole' deal in New England and will sure to be getting a classy, tear-filled send off.

I don't have a huge problem with Bruschi. By all accounts he's a good guy, I just feel I'm the only one wondering how someone has a stroke at 30. C'mon man, don't get benched by aliments most found in retirement homes. What team you think you're on, the Red Sox? Well whatever, the point is there's already some squabbling over how coach Bill Belichick is being so great by not officially cutting a guy who has basically been an unofficial, non-plush mascot for the last 5 years. Well, here's a preemptive shout from the peanut gallery: the hell with that.

You wouldn't know it to talk to any NE fan, but Belichick is a dick. A notorious one. Outside the haze of self-congratulatory back-slapping of the northeast are rampant stories of Belichick's shady practices and Machiavellian brand of sportsmanship. And long before the Spygate thing too. My favorite is his cussing out opposing team medics for rushing to his player's side after a dangerous hit. Or Tom Brady's mysterious "questionable" injury status that was retained throughout the dynasty seasons. Careful what you wish for, Bill.

So, yeah, cornering an aging, big-heart/come-up-short franchise guy into "retiring" shouldn't be getting one lick of admiration. We all know what drives those evil glares and revealing press conferences, Bill: a heart of freezing, craggy ice. It certainly explains all the sweatshirts.


  1. So, New England fans ARE reading this blog.

    You tell'em, chief!

  2. Well, Belichick is a great coach but lacking in the humanitarian skills.

    But, man, Bruschi seems to be all the good things that BB said he was. He led the team in tackles 2 out of the past 4 seasons (post-stroke)and is smart enough to go out on his own terms and on top.

  3. It's been brought to my attention that there's a perceived hostility in the post toward Bruschi. I liked Bruschi, he was a star back when I loved that Pats during the Parcells regime. But he just hasn't been a play-maker of late. I think that's fair to point out. But I did like the guy, even when others are speculating that roids caused his stroke.

    I do, however, stand by the Belichick stuff. Look it up.

  4. Share some of the Belichick stories - really!

    We already know of his terse words for other teams medics looking at his players if they are injured because then they can go back to the team w the info. A Brady did have a sore should from throwing - although doesn't every QB?

    Parcells was just as bad - so forgive me if you love the Tuna but are unhappy when one his guys like Belichick continues to have success - which includes Tom Coughlin - another hard coach from the Parcells tree.