Monday, September 28, 2009

Now Who Will I Make Fun Of?

-Take a knee, you selfish bastard!-

Current Standing: 1-1, 5th overall

That heavenly choir in the distance? It's coming from Detroit.

The big news in Week 3 is that the Detroit Lions, the butt of every horrible sports team joke for the last... forever, ended a 19 game losing streak against the Washington Redskins. This one hurts people, the Lions were my go to yardstick for every measure of ineptitude. "What are you, the Detroit Lions of omelet making?" I would scream at Cole, chewing his cheesy and pepper-laced poultry abortion at 3am. Surprisingly, he hasn't again attempted to prove me wrong. Coward!

But good for them. The Lions. I mean, they'll still probably suck. But "get that monkey off your back" and feel like a real football team, for Pete sake. What can I say? I'm a softie for underdogs.

One thing is for sure, you do not want to be a Washington Redskin right now. Whoo boy. Head coach Jim Zorn is probably breaking out the bullwhips for practice this week (pause), and it's already being rumored he'll be grilled for some of his game time decisions, maybe in defense of keeping his job. Not good. But who am I to talk? After Week 3 officially ends, I'll have the same record as the Detroit Lions.

And now I'm off to find some liquor.

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