Monday, September 7, 2009

Another Pats "Retirement"

-Come with me if you want to win-


More breaking news from the New England Patriots defense: Richard Seymour is packing his bags and heading to Oakland. Poor bastard. Head coach and humanitarian Bill Belichick has ended the career of yet another key defensive player by shipping him to the Raiders for some draft pick in 2011. 2011? Jesus, Bill. Thinking ahead is one thing, it's another to think you're going to draft a hovering, cyborg car beef up your blitzes.

It was just last week that everyone was up in arms about the Bruschi "retirement". Citing how Belichick was all weepy during the final press conference, how Bruschi may have been "thinking" of quitting anyway, that the Pats organization was one big Hallmark card, shying away from any theories that Tedy was actually strong-armed into packing up his blue and red undies. The breaking news Sunday points to a different trend. Belichick is almost certainly spearheading an overhaul of a New England defense that has been struggling the last few years. SI's Fantasy Football Special ranked them 12th (well before the Bruschi/Seymour loses), citing the fact that Belichick will employ some kind of "defensive wizardry," but noncomittedly admitted any small shove from a respectable team sends the whole system sprawling on its back like a small turtle you've flipped over and considered for an ashtray. It looks like the changes will be big, and drafting a whole NE defense scrambling to find their rhythm with a new system seems silly and counter productive.

Some of you sports blog surfers have speculated that Belichick is changing the defense from a 3-4 to a 4-3. If you're wondering what that sound is, it's the noise of crickets.... I have no idea what 3-4 or 4-3 means. Whatever. No one can blame any of the NE staff looking to make some improvements to their D-Fence, but for anyone still trying to argue that Belichick is harboring the rest of the region's sentimental inclinations to franchise players, the proof is in the pudding.


  1. you are a huge idiot

  2. Is this the same Anonymous that so eloquently proclaimed that yours truly was "an idiot" in the Bruschi post? Am I supposed to feel bad that I'm now "huge" as well?

    Ah, well. As you Pats fans should already know, you can't win them all.